painful news

I'm a bit self-conscious in China. Continually on my guard against pick-pockets, swindlers, and laowai who speak better Chinese than I do, I might be a bit more sensitive to perceived insults, value-judgments, and borderline patronizing comments. A Chinese English speaker on the bus a few weeks ago asked me if I knew the city of Beijing. Another asked if I knew how many people lived in China (my number was more recent than hers).

Therefore, I get a little touchy when discussing the Virginia Tech tragedy with the Chinese. Now this just might be where my head is at, but with some people it seems like there is some triumph in their eyes when they ask, "Did you hear about the Virgina University....?[the hand gesture for pistol is used]"

One of my students posited that since it is so important to make money in the United States, that if you don't do it, you go crazy. I told him that Seung-Hui Cho was troubled before he moved to the United States, but he either did not understand or did not listen.

Another was worried that this would affect his chances of going to college in the States in 4 years. I told him, with all confidence, that firstly, that Mr. Cho was South-Korean, and secondly, he was an outlier and no one in the US would say that all South Koreans are that way, much less all Asians.

It occurred to me later that perhaps my idealism prevents me from seeing the truth. Perhaps my student will have difficulties getting into the States because of this incident. I hope to God he is wrong, but who am I to say with such assurance that it won't happen?

I always try to answer questions as honestly as possible. Even then, afterwards I sometimes get the feeling that I may have been telling what I thought was the truth to my student and fooling myself.