i'm a liar

i am infamous for lying about food. (well, perhaps not infamous, but a little exaggerated self-deprecatism never hurt anyone.) this includes, "i'm done," "i can't eat anymore," "last one," "this isn't that spicy," "no i in't urn y ongue." the latest was posted monday night on this very blog, promising an expose on the market, and the food therein.

instead, i was kidnapped and made to watch senior i english plays.

and when i say kidnapped, i mean i walked in to watch a few plays, and was forced to judge all thirteen, which put me back home way past my bedtime (9 pm).

the program was as follows:

american dreamz
harry potter
beauty and beast
the fire of hope
princess diary
the little prince
peter pan
swan lake
tulips
the emperor's new clothes
new journey to the west
pride and prejudice
it's a wonderful life

as you might gather from the titles, the judges were not scoring for creativity. most plays were taken directly from scripts found on the internet, and then edited down to be less than eight minutes. (i was told, as a judge, to subtract points if a play went over 8 minutes. when i asked how i should know that the play was too long, i was told to guess.)

but the show was impressive. the seniors (sophomores) had been practicing for the last month, and they had clearly spent a long time on costumes and makeup. for the little prince, one of my students dressed up as a fox--complete with head and all. many of the plays featured dancing, singing, and at least three of them had a violin (one play had two).

before each play, there were four students who would stand up and introduce each play. clearing chosen for their english prowess, the joked their way through 2 and half hours. i realize now my experience was much like the oscars. my favorite part was when of my students quoted brokeback mountain ("love is a force of nature") to introduce a play. in all my classes, the movie is notorious as a joke, and i am still wondering if she was joking or not.


after all the plays were over, i was pushed out on stage to "comment" about them. in actuality, i was burning time as they calculated the winners. i'm pretty sure i was picked because i'm the only one who could extemporize in english. for my first time on live tv (it was filmed and broadcast to the rest of the school), i don't think i did half bad. i did use the word excited four times in about a minute speech, but otherwise i thought it was okay.

the plays that got first (there were no losers, only third place) were harry potter and the emperor's new clothes. i think harry potter won because it was harry potter, but the emperor's new clothes was a good play. it was clean, well blocked, and there was some good slapstick in there, too. i mean, sure they had a great foreign english teacher, but i'm positive they won are their own accord.