i am currently reading a memoir by john pomfret, one of the the first american exchange students to study in china after it was opened in 1979. he tells the story of five chinese students and the hardships they faced.

in a chapter called outside the gates, he talks about the sexual repression present in many of the chinese men and women in the early 80's. both men and women had to wear shapeless mao coats, and pre-marital relations, kissing included, might land you in jail. relationships between chinese people and foreigners were forbidden, and at nanda university, parties thrown by the foreign students are banned.

in a quarter century, much has changed. women still dress conservatively--there is no midriff showing here--but it is clear they are women. short skirts, leggings, and knee-high boots seem to be the fashion these days. as i walk through the local university campus students can be seen kissing cheeks with hands on the smalls of backs. it is clear that dating is acceptable, at least at the university level.

at the high school level, it seems as if the thought has yet to enter my students' minds. virtually none my students socialize in coed groups, unless it is during a game of basketball. throughout the halls, you see boys hanging out with boys, girls with girls. in the sophomore classrooms they seem more comfortable with each other than they do in the 8th grade classrooms, but loud, class-wide, spastic laughter greets any joke about a relationship. now granted, the seniors are in another building, and may act differently, but in my experience there seems no place for the romantic relationship in high school. perhaps they are too busy studying. perhaps america's children just move to fast. either way, it's nice not to have to see necking teenagers everywhere you look.