vietnam: the happiest place on earth?

There are a few reasons I am proposing this:

1. The food here is ridiculous. I have been eating every three hours like clockwork, and I don't feel weighed down, like I would in China, or god forbid the US.

2. The vendors, while bugging me all the time to ride their motorcycles and buy their fruit, don't bother me too much. It's a fairly mellow type of hawking that suits my style. They look at me, smile, point to their motorcycle, pineapple, holographic decal, etc. I say no, they smile and ask again, I say no again, they might ask me again, I say no, they go away. If these events happened in China, I'd flip out. I don't know if it's the way they do it, or just that I'm Chinaed out, it doesn't bother me.

3. Hanoi has these great horns that instead of honking a straight, piercing note, modulate between two tones. This makes honking mellow, as well. Instead of turning around, staring the driver in the eyes, and walking slower across traffic, I turn around, smile and wave at the driver, and walk slower across traffic. It's great.

4. I had my three favorite Vietnamese dishes, pho, bun (rice vermicelli), and banh mi (a pate and pork sandwich on a bastarized baguette) for about 5 bucks. (author's note: while I am pretty sure I could have, I did not eat them all at once.)

5. Walking around the night market, I stopped to watch street food being made, as I am wont to do. A cute girl was getting a handful of what I will call mini banh mi, which are made with a small baguette about the size of a breadstick and filled with a tiny bit of pate and dried meat. It looked good. The girl then turned to me, and with pretty darn good English, asked me if I wanted to try one. This is the part that makes me love Vietnam. Before I could order it myself, she took one of hers, handed it to me, and walked off. I shouted thank you at her, but she didn't even turn around...random act of kindness. It was awesome.

Preliminary verdict: Vietnam is mellow, and so am I. Let's see how the next 68 days of my trip go.

8 grand traditions of chinese cuisine: guangdong (cantonese)

To be honest, I'm not sure this counts...dim sum is certainly Guangdong food, but by eating these delicious lunchtime snacks, am I missing what makes Guangdongese food Guangdongese?  I have to reevaluate menus and wikipedia, and I'll get back to you.

Disclaimer aside, the food was great at the Gloria Plaza hotel.  We had a wide range of dim sum dishes, including the requisite Char Siu Bao, or pork buns (fluffy dough stuffed with sweet sauce and meat), Hargao, or shrimp dumplings, and Char siu sou, a flaky pastry stuffed with pork.  

Everything was to my expectations, and this is part of the problem.  With Anhui and Fujian food, I wasn't sure what I was getting, or I didn't realize that this food was from those regions.  Dim sum, however, my experience runs a little deeper.  The one thing that was new was the durian sou, which was a sweet pastry stuffed with that bizarre fruit, yes, you guessed it, the durian.  

Every time I pass a durian on the street at my local fruit stand (well, no longer, it's out of season) I was too intimidated to pick one up.  The large spiky shell and reports of its off-putting aroma always kept me from purchasing it.  If this flaky dessert type thing is any indicator (which I am definitely unsure it is), I would have enjoyed it.  

I'll have to get some back in the states.  Until then, I will be pondering whether I should go to another Guangdong restaurant, or leave it be.  Thoughts?

anhui food and the other 7 chinese grand cuisines

Before I leave China, I have one single goal: to eat the eight grand cuisines of China.  These are the provinces that were around back in the good old days, before the...well, before.  

The list is: 徽 (Anhui), 粤 (Cantonese), 闽 (Fujian), 湘 (Hunan), 苏 (Jiangsu), 鲁 (Shandong), 浙 (Zhejiang), and last but certainly not least, 川 (Sichuan).

Last night, we experienced Anhui cuisine at the Anhui Hotel Restaurant, which is run by the Anhui provincial government.  A light, spicy group of dishes, consisting of, and I quote:

"Mutton Noodle Hotpot"

"Three Rivers Slightly Fried"

"Hakka's Attrition Bean Curd"

"Casserole Celery"

The mutton noodle hotpot was your normal noodle hotpot suspended above canned heat.  Which is quite good...It begins as a lamb noodle soup, but as the meal moves on, the broth slowly evaporates, and imbuing the noodles and lamb with a delicous flavor.  

I'm not sure what the three rivers in the second dish were, but one of them was dou ban, or a type of tofu...I think...whatever...it's flavors were subtle and the kick was in a pleasant aftertaste.

Anhui is known for it's tofu, and if this restaurant is the bar, they should be famous for it.  The texture (tofu is certainly not known for it's taste) of the tofu was the lightest I've had.  It was like biting into a soft custard.  The sauce over it was tasty as well, but I was too focused on the delightful texture.

Finally, the Celery Casserole.  I have never seen celery like this.  As thin as grass, it looked like someone had fried up a cow's favorite meal, and sliced some incredibly spicy peppers on top.  This long grass looking stuff, if examined closely, did have the curvature and tubular structure of celery.  It was incredible.  And extremely spicy.  A nice clean crunch followed by some strong spice.  My favorite dish.

This meal was a homerun.  If the rest of these meals are as good, I will be a happy fellow.

chinese new year's eve

Zhang Sheng, one of my colleagues at work, invited us to his house for Chinese New Year. We left Beijing at 2:15, and arrived in Tianjin at about 3:30, via the nicest train I've ever ridden in China. Not only was there a ton of leg room (my long, long, incredibly long, legs demand it), there was also the wings that you can lean your head on when you pass out. It was great.

Tianjin was nice, too. Comparable population wise to Beijing, it seemed much more open. Zhang Sheng's family was incredibly nice, and we ate the entire time we were there. First it was peanuts and candy, then oranges. Then it was dinner time with about 15 courses. Tianjin is near the ocean, and known for it's seafood. The fish, whole deep fried squid, and oysters were all delicious. The pork was great too. Zhang Sheng's father is a wonderful cook, and his family wants him to move to the States and open a restaurant. Possibilities lie all around.

We ate all we could, the retired to the guest room to play some Monopoly. It was great. I would have won too, if we had not been called to "bao jiaozi" or make dumplings. Dumplings are the traditional food you eat at midnight of the lunar new year. We made a ton, and didn't think much of it.

We then went outside at midnight. The block was a warzone. I've heard multiple reports of people from war torn countries (Israel, Iraq) who leave the country for this holiday season. (Right now, there are explosions outside my window.) It is nonstop for a week before and a week after, but at this time it seemed to come to a head. Everyone was outside lighting strings of firecrackers and bottle rockets. Zhang Sheng's father had a string of m-80's he lit.

The noise the firecrackers make are supposed to scare the ghosts away, and therefore bring good luck, at least as I understand it. GD...these people must be lucky. It was cool though, and when we headed back inside, we all smelled of gunpowder. Which made me feel badass (I mean, more than usual).

By the time we were back inside, the dumplings had been boiled and set out. We ate a few plates, and then Zhang Sheng's family stopped. That left the Laowais. Known for my ability to eat under the eyes of someone who wants me to eat, I was a champ. I told Zhang Sheng's mother that I couldn't eat any more, her children couldn't eat anymore. She responded, "They are not polite. You are polite. Keep eating!" And so I picked up my chopsticks. I think I stopped around 75.

At that point, I was pretty tuckered out. We passed out, only to wake up 4 hours later to catch our train back to the city. I mean, the other city.

It was short, but great. Last Chinese New Year's Eve, I was by myself in Guilin, watching large families through plate glass windows eating massive amounts of food. It was nice to be inside.

pricing craziness

Back when I lived in Chengdu, I didn't have to worry about housing. My school provided me with a palatial apartment in the suburbs. Still I quickly noticed the difference in pricing in China.

For example, while I could spend about 20 kuai (a little less than $3) on a dinner for 2 with a few beers, I would have to shell out about 200 kuai (a little less than $30) for a pair of pants. In the US, the price of dinner and a pair of pants (for someone as cheap as myself) is often pretty comparable. This made it very difficult for me to buy clothes in China...not to mention the problem of finding pants that fit.

In Beijing the disparity can be even greater. For instance, I found an unfurnished apartment (which I guess is virtually unheard of in Beijing) for fairly cheap. That was great. What killed me is that I had to pay about $100 dollars more for my bed (mattress included) than one month's rent.

I've decided it's a really cheap apartment instead of a really expensive bed.

garlic

Now please, do not misunderstand me, I love garlic. But all things in moderation. Like dice and mutton, garlic is an integral part of every meal in Yanchi. You might be served a bowl of noodles, or a plate of meat and a bowl of rice. With those things, a bulb of garlic is tossed onto the table, sometimes on a plate, most times not. As you eat, you crush the garlic against the table in order to peel it. Peeled, between bites of food, you take bites of raw garlic. It's a bit much, even for me. Some people eat 2 or 3 cloves a meal. At least it keeps those mosquitos away.

overcoming bureaucracy

At our dining hall, every day at lunch you have a good choice of a bunch of meat dishes, a few vegetable dishes. Behind a row of teller windows, lunch ladies stand in front of bowls, collecting the chits that are used for currency at DH (that's what I call dining hall [it's catching on]). You get to choose two meat and one veg, as well as a nice big block of rice. Usually, I'll mention one or two of the vegetables or dishes I know and point to the rest. I sit eating with chopsticks, shocking the teachers with my skill.

If someone finishes their tray and is still hungry, they are welcome to go back to back to the lunch ladies to get more...but only of the dishes that they chose the first time. Perhaps they are worried with too many choices the faculty may become fat. I'm not sure why, but some of the teachers have figured a way around this. After finishing your firsts, you clear off your tray into a soup bowl. (Soup is available at every meal. People drink that instead of a beverage.) Using your friend's tray, you get a bit of what you'd like to have that you didn't the first time, and go to the window. Spying your tray, they give you a refill of what they thought was there the first time. And boosh, you've beaten the system. Out of what, I have no idea, but you've beaten it. Congratulations.

le shan revisited

Midterm exams began the day before yesterday, and while the Chinese teachers and students worked hard, the foreign teachers were whisked off to Le Shan. Patrick and I had visited once before, but because of the crowds, we were only able to see a giant ear and face. We figured since this time it was a Thursday, and it was raining, the line wouldn't be as bad. It wasn't. Still it was pretty bad.

After being led around in circles, we were finally able to get to the spot where you either to decide to a.) wait in line for 45 minutes to slowly walk down stairs (still in a line) to see the Grand Buddha from his feet, or b.) give up. Our guide took told us that the only way down was by this staircase. This clearly wasn't the case, as we certainly had not come in via those stairs, and the party began to get restless.

A quick note: our party was augmented this rainy day by 2 headmasters from 2 schools in England. I think their presence made it easier for the following to happen.

As we stood in line, I thanked God I had glasses on, because the chance of getting poked in the eye from a stray umbrella spar was quite high. While I watched, a woman looked me straight in the eye, and cut me. This is the type of thing that bothers me. I don't know why. It just does. I said hello to her, she smiled, nodded, said hello back, and moved forward more, just to make it clear who was ahead of who. I decided I didn't want to stand in line anymore.

The first time in Le Shan, Patrick and I regretted not taking a boat to see the Buddha. You miss all the lines and you get a better perspective on Da Fo. We'd been talking it up all day, and our stint in the line finally riled people up enough to demand it.

We exited the park, got back in the minibus, and drove to the docks. There was another hour long wait for the big boat. Not deterred, our driver found us a motorboat. There was no line, but it was open-topped and expensive. Luckily, it wasn't our money we were spending. We got into the motorboat, and it sped off towards the statue. In 5 minutes, we were out in front of it, staring at it's grandeur. The boat took as many pictures as possible, and we headed back. The trip, all-told, took 15 minutes. The boatman took away 450 kuai for that 15 minutes. That's...1800 kuai an hour, as David Brent would point out. For my money, it was worth it.

After an exciting boat ride, we were bundled back into the minibus and taken to the swankiest restaurant in Le Shan. I stuffed myself full of tofu, pig's ear, a tofu dish very reminiscent of fried dough, and many other things as well. Delicious. Washing it down with a few beers, I slept most of the way back to Chengdu. Not bad for a Thursday.

ahhhh...jet lag

i woke up this morning at an early 6:00, and brought myself to roll, stretch, and crush pillows until 7:30. at that point i woke up and went in search of my favorite chinese breakfast--bao zi. where i live is definitely a college town (or high school town, for that matter), and most of the businesses are closed leaving only a single food vendor on my usual street. he was serving a fried doughnut type pastry, but it wasn't quite what i was looking for.

a few blocks to the north of my school, the high-tech industry flourishes. (hence the quaint town name "High Tech Zone (West)") while schools go on vacation for chinese new year, the armies of workers that power the high-tech industry decidedly do not. so as an army travels on its stomach, i went north and found a good sized group of vendors selling breakfast. bao-zi, however, they were not. deep sigh there, folks.

i was quickly over my disappointment, and grabbed a few delicacies: ma er bi--red bean paste (i think) inside a soft dough, and another stuffed breakfast where a round flat bun is sliced open with a boxcutter (at least the woman did here) and stuffed with a mixture of beef, cilantro, chives, as well as some pickled carrot. i also picked up some warm soy milk (duojia) to wash it down.

now it was not exactly what i was looking for, but it hit the spot.

and looking at the nest of plastic bags my food sits in, it is clear that the chinese do not grasp how dangerous a throwaway economy is for our planet. do you?

the fair

at the university village there is a fair. now in fact, it's just a bunch of street food carts grouped in one location, but there still is a festive atmosphere that pervades. there, of course, are the guo kui people, who also sell french fries. the fries are made by taking a metal basket, and weaving julienned potatoes inside of it, so it makes a basket inside the basket. that is then deep fried. the basket is then dumped out, sprinkled with chopped onions, parsely, dried pepper flakes, and of course, msg. haven't yet tried it, but i plan to. i'm making my way slowly around the fair, trying to sample all the types of food. to be honest, this marketplace is one of the most diverse places to get food here in chengdu. and it's in my backyard. hooray!

as the week goes on, i'll be posting on a different food from each of the carts. tomorrow, cabbage tacos!

chinese mashed potatoes

what a pleasant surprise. i walk into dining hall, and begin to bother the lunchlady about lunch. everyday i point at one thing and say, "na ge," (that). she points to one bowl, and i say "bu yao" (don't want), and then she points to another and another, until she hits the bowls i want. today, i just wanted her to pick anything, and i don't know how to say, "i don't care." so i said i don't know. the lunchlady thought i was confused, and looked around for help. at that point, a chinese english teacher came up and helped. she said that that bowl was potatoes, and to avoid anymore fuss i said yao.

she plopped a spoonful on my plate, like any good lunchlady (unfortunately, it wasn't an ice-cream scoop). when i got to the table, i plunged my chopsticks in, and i could not believe it. mashed potatoes! (i think i kinda blew the surprise with the title, there.) a very smooth mashed potato with a nice addition of scallions and chives. eating mashed potatoes with chopsticks was a breeze as well. the consistency requires no chopstick skill at all, just poke and chomp. great! it was a welcome respite, and was the most homey meal to date in the cafeteria.

i love my cafeteria.

bao-zi, man tou, and...peanut muffin?

every morning that i am able to rouse myself out of bed, i traipse over to the cafeteria across from my apartment building. once there, i lean through a window and say: "yi ge bao-zi he yi ge man tou," or "liang ge bao-zi," if i feel in a meaty mood. this time i saw something different down at the end of line so i asked, "zhe shi shemme?" (what is this? [i realize now i should have said na shi shemme?" {what is that?}]). the lunch lady replied "da ge" (i don't know what that means). she handed me a muffin.

bao-zi i have discussed before. a "dumpling" of chopped up pork and onions (or whatever one wants in the middle)--you take a piece of dough, place the meat in the center of it, wrap it up, and steam it. voila! my favorite breakfast.

man-tou is a steamed bun, empty of any filling. pretty simple.

da ge is basically angel food cake, with some peanuts thrown in for good measure. it was delicious and weird. it may just mean cake in general, i'm not sure...i'm just describing what i had this morning.

but still, bao-zi holds the number one place in my heart. it is tasty and easy to eat, and no matter where you go, it seems the bao-zi remains the same. it is the mcdonald's of breakfast foods.

dinner with the kitchen

at night, the cafeteria at my school offers three options. the cheapest (for those who are paying) option is a bowl of noodles. at mid-range, you can get a tray of what we had for lunch. and the high end are a bunch of dishes of premade delicious food. whenever i eat dinner alone in the caf, i usually pick the former. the noodles there are delicious, but in addition to that, you have a choice of condiments.

now usually at a noodle place you have specify whether you want the noodles spicy or not, or if you want hua jiao or not (huajiao is a spice that numbs your mouth that is often used in sichuan cooking.) and they take care of the rest. here at the caf, you are given an undoctored bowl of noodles, and you do with it what you will.

you bring it over to the tray of condiments which has hua jiao powder, da jiao (a chili pepper paste), msg, salt, and two other bowls of liquid which might be vinegar and soy sauce.

a recipe for bick's favorite noodles. 1. take noodles from your cafeteria. 2. put two heaping spoonfuls of da jiao into it (be sure to scrape the bottom of the bowl, that's where the peppers are). 3. add a spoonful of huajiao (too much makes it feel like you just got back from the dentist, it can be fun, but it isn't good for every bowl of noodles). 4. avoid the salt and msg. 5. add a small teaspoon each of the mystery liquids (at least until i can find out what they are.)

the noodle ladies love to help me with pronounciation of the condiments, even though it doesn't get me very far in knowing what they are. but their smiles and excitement makes me happy to eat there. plus the fact that it's free. that's a big one too.

a trip to the tibetan quarter (pt. ii)

i went inside. xizang fengqing wu is a small place with 6 different rooms. the host gestured for me to seat myself. i went through the first open door and found myself in the presence of another waiguoren. i said "ni hao" and sat down. we did not speak.

note: all the waiguoren i've met (including myself) act the exact opposite of the chinese when they see a westerner. instead of staring, we ignore. we want chengdu for ourselves, unsullied by other visitors.

i sat down, and ordered a few dishes. a few minutes after i ordered, at the door from our dining room to the street, a man hit two metal sticks together, making them ring, and said something to the two of us westerners in chinese. i said i didn't understand, and the other westerner told me that the man wanted to clean my ears. at that moment, the man produced some wicked looking metal hooks (they looked like dental picks) with cotton swabbing wrapped around them. i said "bu yao" don't want very quickly. [bu yao is something everyone should remember when traveling to china.] i used the opportunity after the ear cleaner left to apologize to the westerner for intruding. he told me that i was speaking nonsensically, and told me why he was there.

he was canadian, his children were grown, and his wife was ill with a stomache, which explained his solitary position. he and his wife owned a boat that was now in malaysia. they had set sail ten years ago from the north american continent. it was cheaper to live in asia, so they were spending their retirement here. they were in the middle of a year traveling through china, to lhasa, to kathmandu, to etc. etc. etc. needless to say, i was jealous. but then again it seemed he was a bit jealous of me. the grass is always greener.

my food came. i had ordered yak meat dumplings, droma ("a sweet root vegetable") [someone later told me it was ginseng, but i'm not sure about that.], and milk tea. i think the yak tasted better just because it was yak. the droma came with sugar, which i shook on sparingly. it had a taste between a sweet potato and a red bean, and was quite grainy. the milk tea was delicious, and as i stood to go, i realized i hadn't finished all of it. while i stood, i poured the rest of it in my cup, and drained it, college style. ahhh. the good ole days.

i turned to leave, and realized the canadian left while i was eating ninja-style, without even saying goodbye. perhaps it was just that he couldn't be heard over the sound of my epicurian enjoyment.

okay morning

so i woke up early today to ride my bike. i went out with hordes to xi pu. bikes everywhere. it was great. i rode into xi pu, turned around, and stopped for bao-zi on the way back. these are little buns filled with stuff. they look like white balls of uncooked dough, but i assure you they are cooked. i got one--i think i should have gotten two--and it was filled with green beans and beef. delicious. i also got a glass of duo jia (i believe that's what she called it) or soy milk. it's served in a plastic cup with a plastic seal on the top. you take a straw and stab through to drink it, much like capri sun, but easier to open. she asked if i wanted a straw stabbed through or not. at least i thought that's what she said. i think she might have just offered me a straw. anyways, i said no. (she also said in chinese that my chinese was good , and in english she said that she gave me half off) i ate the bao-zi on the way back, passing tons of factory workers going to work in the high tech zone. they all had bao-zi or a fried dough thing (that's on the list for friday's breakfast) in their hands. some were joking, and some trudging in, like they were extras in metropolis.

i also passed many groups of older people doing tai chi. they would do it in little parks on street corners, 30 or 40 people following one at the front. the chinese also have these playground like areas, which are actually communal gyms. they have leg presses, sit up bars, something that i can only think of as a "wax on, wax off" machine (two discs at about head height that you spin in different directions). i also witnessed a group of older people that looked as the were doing aerobics, for it certainly wasn't taichi. to be honest, it looked a lot like the electric slide.

so this sounds like a great morning, not an okay morning, right? well it was. until i came up behind this boy bicycling, passing him on the right. i didn't ring my bell or anything, and just before i got even with him, he spit. remember to always ring your bell when passing someone. i thought i got away scot-free, but when i got back, there was this nice loogie on the lower leg of my jeans. luckily, it was all spit, no snot, which was nice. i wiped it off with a tissue, and now it's only my pride that hurts.

also as i was riding back a boy shouted laowai at me, which means foreigner. i turned around and stared at him to show i understood, and kept riding. it's very nice that it doesn't happen very often.

but the bao-zi was good, and when i finally got back, i tried to open the soy milk. the top wouldn't come off, so i resorted to poking a hole in the top and sucking the milk out, crushing it as i went. i wouldn't recommend it. next time you buy soy milk and the shopkeeper asks, dabuda, answer da. answer da.

great day

an interesting day today. my first two classes went well. With these new classes I had discussions about change in chengdu. the answer to the question are these changes good or bad was 'it depends.' i liked that a lot. future lawyers, the lot of them. or perhaps liberal actors.

the real fun came when i went to the college village that is on the other side of the university from us. we went to a noodle bar for dinner. everyone stared at the waiguoren, and the sheer number of stares and people made it a little disconcerting. we tried to order with the waitress the first time, and we were a bit too complicated. finally, it seems she became too frustrated and went to deal with other issues. all the while the rest of the kitchen staff was standing by, staring at us like we're nuts. she finally came back, and i asked for five noodles, two spicy, 3 non and that was it. simplicity is always key when ordering food. it was delicious, and a little more than a quarter per bowl of noodles seemed more than fair.

the village is like a fair every night of the week. there are tons of food stalls, veggie stalls, dvd stalls, noodle stalls, restaurants, general stores, anything your heart could desire. what really caught my eye was a man flipping dough in a way reminiscent of pizza throwers. he didn't throw it over his head, but he swung it around at a good velocity. once it was thin enough (think crepe thinness), he either put sweet stuff (strawberry or pineapple jam, smushed banana, condensed milk) or savory stuff (different meats, chive, msg powder) then he folds it up and puts it on the fryer. his apprentice, as i like to think of him, takes care of the frying, then puts it on the chopping board. then the wife takes and dribbles condensed milk over it, chops it into little pieces, and puts it in a little container to eat with long toothpicks. i love how everything is a family affair. i had a pineapple one, and i thought i had died and went to heaven. an added bonus here: i got into a remedial conversation with the owner. he asked if i was a teacher, where i taught, if i was british. i was able to understand and answer all his questions. it was great. no english, but still a little understanding. life is getting better all the tiiiiiime.

home for the weekend

for those of you don't know, it's friday night. so that means i have just witnessed a mass exodus from the college/high school town i live in. junior 1 (7th grade) leaves on friday at 3:35. that leaves junior 2 and 3, and senior 1 and 2 (senior 3 is in a different building) to watch from their classes as the juniors get their rolly airport carryon hardcase luggage and leave with their parents from home.

me and 8b, my junior 2 class at that time, watched from the windows as we worked. they did not seem happy about that, but they plugged on anyway.

after school let out, all but senior 3 went their own way. that meant the street to the main highway was chock full of cars, taxis, rickshaws, and busses. right now it occurs to me that i should have taken a picture. which i will take next friday. with ice cube, but without chris tucker. rush hour was too big.

there were also many more stands put up. one stand looked to be selling custards. he would scoop the pudding like substance into a plastic cup, then you would have a choice of toppings. i didn't have it, but again, maybe next friday.

there was also a skewer stand selling vegetables, meats, and what looked like dumplings on sticks. you pick what you want and put it in a basket, then they take the skewers in the basket, and throw it in the fryer. then they take it out and sprinkle on a hefty amount of spice. then you can take it your hand, or they'll put it in a bag for you. i saw one spoiled brat of a student order about 15 or 20 of these skewers. i hope he ate them all. as i always say, there are children starving in america.