A Philosopher in a Tree

one night in bangkok (parental guidance suggested) [this is like ira glass saying it on this american life. it's not that dirty, but be warned.]

2009-04-17T14:49:00.007+08:00

and the world's your oyster. Indeed, this may be true. After killing myself in Siem Reap with a bicycle and the most famous temples in the world, I was looking forward to some relaxation and craziness. The craziness began straight at the Thai border, where I was picked up by a madman driving a minibus. Now bus drivers in Asia, if I were to generalize, are much more willing to take risks than their Western counterparts. I have grown accustomed to that fact, and it doesn't much bother me when a bus driver takes a blind corner at high speed while overtaking a car. This is because the bus drivers are involved in what they are doing and mindful of doing a good job. A good job here means not killing anyone.

This bus driver was different. At the beginning of the trip, he took interest in another passenger's hat, and for the rest of the journey, he was putting it on, taking it off, and playing with it as he drove. He also spent a good amount of time texting, much to the dismay of most of the passengers. He stopped about 8 times, often in quick succession. He would stop to buy himself a snack, and then ten minutes later, he'd stop so he could go to the bathroom. He didn't let anyone else out, mind you, he just went on his own. At one point, a German lady asked him to drive more carefully, at which point he started driving at about 60 kph, leaving us vulnerable to rear end collisions. Then the German woman said you don't have to drive slow, just more carefully, and he went back to the way he was driving before. At the end of the trip, he hit a curb, and that was it. I plan to complain, but I'm not sure who to complain to.

But we all arrived at Khao San Road with no bodily harm. Khao San Road is the haven of all backpackers in SE Asia. It was built up quite a bit. I expected craziness from all sides...which I got, just not the type of craziness I expected. We arrived at the tail end of Thai New Year or Songkran. This means a giant waterfight. People armed with water pistols (big ones, like super soakers) and waterbottles with holes in the top push through the streets spraying anyone that catches their eye. That means if you're soaked you've been attracting attention, which I think is cool. The other side of this is the flour. Vendors are set up along the street selling bowls and little hard pellets of flour. You take some ice water, which is set up in giant coolers periodically down the street, and mix it with the flour to make a paste, which you then smear on others. I took it as a blessing, but there were some tourists who didn't go with the flow, and ended up screaming as they were sprayed with water and plastered with flour. When in Thailand, do as the Thai.

Then we went to Gulliver's Travels, a bar, for a fellow traveler's birthday. Now, I'm a bit awkward around working girls. I will remind you of a quote from a woman I met at Eric Weisbrod's 21st birthday party: 'What do you think this is, a library?' If you don't understand the context of that quote, please email me, and I'd be happy to explain. So the bar, at it's peak, about 90% of the female population was probably not there for pleasure. They were there for business. Well maybe they were there for pleasure, but not theirs. Or maybe they are...it depends on who you talk to.

Nevermind.

We were having fun, dancing and drinking, and at this point of the night, most men in the bar are paired up with one of these women. Now this thought has crossed my mind before, but not often: I'm afraid I'm an uptight, northeastern prude. I mean, you can do what you want, and I will not judge you. But man, the thought of a barful of people watching me begin courting someone explicitly only after my money leaves me cold. I can't do it.

So after perusing the bar for a bit, I thought I had found three Thai girls who were not there for business. After dancing a good long time with the three of them, one of the girls asked if I worked at the bar. This was a strange question to ask, but I told her the truth. Then she told me that they all worked for the bar. I bolted.

Now upon reflection, I wonder if what they meant was they were servers, or barbacks, or bartenders on a night off. If that's the case, I regret leaving them high and dry. But as I like to say, and you know I say this all the time, 'Err on the side of caution.'

'One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.'--now if you don't know this quote, get Chess, the original cast recording, and listen to Murray Head wail. He is a legend. Legend.

cambodian smackdown

2009-04-08T19:50:00.002+08:00

Phnom Penh is quite aggressive with its poverty, at least with the backpackers. Getting off the bus, I was given a choice between two places: the cheap and the not as cheap. I chose the cheap, and a tuktuk took me to a travelers ghetto on the side of the lake. Once you reach accomodation, the guest houses are very relaxing, many of them with wooden decks out over the lake. To get there however, you must travel through narrow streets with touts whispering about girls, marijuana, ecstasy, cocaine, heroine, and crystal meth. I am still shocked that enough foreigners decide to do crystal meth in Phnom Penh to make asking that question a feasible endeavor.

After checking in and relaxing by the lake until sunset, I decided to get further into the city. I walked down the back alley from my guest house and at about 15 feet from the alley's entrance a dark heavy bass beat begins to strike the brick walls. Echoing and reflecting down this tiny alley, it seems absurd I couldn't hear it from my room.

Turning the corner, I'm faced with a group of 12 young Cambodian males standing around, bashing their ear drums in. For good measure, there is a 8-year-old girl destroying her ear drums as she dances innocently to an ugly back beat. Past them tuktuk and moto drivers will take you anywhere you want to go...this phrase is more literal than it usually is.

To tell them you're walking is a crazy enough answer to avoid any further question, aside from drugs and prostitutes. Clearly, I have not cultivated my school boy innocence enough to avoid these queries.

The smart, blond-haired 10-year-old offers books for sale. Here is where I become torn. It is terrible that she is out at 9pm on a school night bartering and bantering with foreigners, but damn! she's selling books and speaking pretty good English, albeit a bit catchphrasey for my taste.

I just hope she sticks with her literary pursuits.

oh the malaysians

2009-03-30T18:25:00.003+08:00

Instead of burning on the beach today, I decided to take a ride out the other side of town...maybe take some pictures of the landscape, get away from the tourists. I ride out, pedaling furiously, as I do, and I pass a guy who was dressed in the fashion of a Chinese tourist wearing a Beijing Olympics cap. I didn't yell at him, but I wanted to.

After spotting and stopping for a nice photo op, he passed me, and at that point I yelled at him, 'Are you Chinese?' in Mandarin. He answered no, but in Mandarin, which is better result than I might have expected. He told me he was off to see a pottery village, and invited me to join him.

A more invasive tourist than I am, he was a joy to travel with. Where I would never presume to take a picture, he would snap away, allowing me to grab a few quick, discreet shots while the locals were distracted. We watched the locals make handmade roof tiles--awesome process--and throw pots. Then I threw a pot. My high school art classes did not fare me well...although, they didn't really fare me well back then either.

Then we went to the wharf, where we watched fisherwomen boil herring? sardines? some small fish. For the measly cost of 1,000 dong, I had the pleasure of eating a whole fish, with my Malaysian cameraman snapping away. It was a great trip, but ended sadly. I stopped to snap a pic of some nice blooms I saw on the edge of the road, and by the time I was done, he had gone. Weird.

Still, all in all, best tourism day yet.

vietnam list continued.

2009-03-29T19:12:00.003+08:00

6. Coffee. Unlike the coffee in China which is either instant or exorbitantly priced, the coffee in Vietnam is everywhere and delicious. I spent a few rainy afternoons sitting in a cafe watching the motorcycles go by.

7. Water tabacco pipes that are actually used for tabacco. Who knew? Seems like a terrible idea, but pretty interesting to see a Vietnamese dude on the side of the street take a tabacky rip straight to his dome.

8. I walked around with a tag on a new pair of pants and no one noticed. Sure, you say, 'maybe they noticed and didn't tell you.' I'm an optimist. Leave me alone.

time flies when you are having fun...

2009-03-29T18:31:00.005+08:00

So, I was planning on being a bit more proactive with the blogging, but it's been a bit hit or miss with the energy at the end of the day. Miss mostly. In Hoi an now, I've traveled through Ha Long Bay, Hue, and the DMZ.

Ha Long Bay was one big party. I should have seen it coming, and perhaps a part of me did. It was a lot of fun, but without the trekking I was hoping for. Met a good group of people that I've met up with along the journey throughout. Much like the karst of Guilin, Ha Long Bay's main feature is the limestone islands jutting out of the bay covered in green. Beautiful, if you can see it. Our first day, it was pea-soup, so we didn't. The kayaking was the highlight of my trip. Out in tandem kayaks, our group explored the karst overhangs and caves. At one point, we paddled through a cave to a pristine bay...the quietest place I've been to in ages.

The rest of it was swimming and drinking and having fun.

Hue was not a great spot for me. Near the DMZ, it has little historic value of its own, but for a citadel of the Ly Dynasty. The touts riding cyclos (a bike with a chair on the front) were quite persistent in trying to get you to do illegal things. I hate peer pressure. The best one is when they say, 'Hey, friend! What's your name? etc. etc. Hey, I give you a ride for free. We're friends, free ride!' I always made it clear I was happy to walk (which drew some curses, by itself) but I saw an unfortunate Frenchman dealing with the same tout, shouting, 'You said it was free!' Poor bastard.

The DMZ tour was interesting. It's always interesting to see things from the other side...the Viet Cong valiantly pressuring the Americans to leave. Very heavy, but I'm glad I saw it. Part of the tour included a cave system that the North Vietnamese used. It was only for air raids and attacks, but it seemed like a terrible way to live for even part of six years. It also made me realize I have to read more about the Vietnam war...I'm not sure if I understand it from my country's side.

The food in Hue was good, though. There was a very meaty pork soup that was delicious, albeit some unpleasant after effects, and a chicken embryo, which as very much like a baluut, although not as far along.

Now I am in Hoi An, taking it easy. The beaches are lovely, the vendors friendly, and it was a great place to spend Earth Hour. All the lights in the city were shut off, and all the Vietnamese and most of the tourists gathered around the river. Using paper boats, people put lit candles on the water, making such a beautiful spectacle. When the lights were turned off, a bonfire was set alight--which was a bit ironic to me: it's Earth Hour! Let's get those carbons up in the atmosphere. The people danced and sang, and we were luckily invited to join. After the dancing ended, a game of Simon Says began. Playing Simon Says with a good caller can be difficult, but I will argue playing it in Vietnamese is harder. Inevitably, the three foreigners in the group messed up (mostly due to not knowing what 'simon says' is in Vietnamese) and were hustled into the center of the group. We were then made to hop like bunnies around the fire in a chain with a few other unfortunate Vietnamese. Great fun was had by all.

Although Hue was a bit of a bummer, Vietnam is still my favorite Southeast Asian country I've visited.

vietnam: the happiest place on earth?

2009-03-20T22:31:00.006+08:00

There are a few reasons I am proposing this:

1. The food here is ridiculous. I have been eating every three hours like clockwork, and I don't feel weighed down, like I would in China, or god forbid the US.

2. The vendors, while bugging me all the time to ride their motorcycles and buy their fruit, don't bother me too much. It's a fairly mellow type of hawking that suits my style. They look at me, smile, point to their motorcycle, pineapple, holographic decal, etc. I say no, they smile and ask again, I say no again, they might ask me again, I say no, they go away. If these events happened in China, I'd flip out. I don't know if it's the way they do it, or just that I'm Chinaed out, it doesn't bother me.

3. Hanoi has these great horns that instead of honking a straight, piercing note, modulate between two tones. This makes honking mellow, as well. Instead of turning around, staring the driver in the eyes, and walking slower across traffic, I turn around, smile and wave at the driver, and walk slower across traffic. It's great.

4. I had my three favorite Vietnamese dishes, pho, bun (rice vermicelli), and banh mi (a pate and pork sandwich on a bastarized baguette) for about 5 bucks. (author's note: while I am pretty sure I could have, I did not eat them all at once.)

5. Walking around the night market, I stopped to watch street food being made, as I am wont to do. A cute girl was getting a handful of what I will call mini banh mi, which are made with a small baguette about the size of a breadstick and filled with a tiny bit of pate and dried meat. It looked good. The girl then turned to me, and with pretty darn good English, asked me if I wanted to try one. This is the part that makes me love Vietnam. Before I could order it myself, she took one of hers, handed it to me, and walked off. I shouted thank you at her, but she didn't even turn around...random act of kindness. It was awesome.

Preliminary verdict: Vietnam is mellow, and so am I. Let's see how the next 68 days of my trip go.

travel options

2009-03-04T11:56:00.002+08:00

The basic hard sleeper trip is this—you get on the train, you make friends with your compartment-mates, you eat a meal, lights out at ten, you wake up, share breakfast, and if you’re lucky, you’ve arrived by eleven.

The soft sleeper has none of that. You get on the train, you get in your bed, you plug in your headphones, you watch tv, some dude turns out the lights. If you’re lucky, you don’t wake up.

On my way up to Harbin, on the hard sleeper, I had a great conversation with my bunkmates. They told me what to see in the city, that Harbin girls were, “beau-ti-ful” (which was pretty self serving, as they were Harbin girls). I told them about the States, and they gave me the required compliment on my Chinese. Just say nee how to anyone here, and they’ll compliment you on your Chinese…just as long as you aren’t of Chinese descent—god help you then—your Chinese better be good.

My way back, I rushed on to the train just as it pulled out, out of breath. My bunkmates (there are only 4 bunks in the soft, as opposed to six) were all sitting on their beds looking at the wall. I threw down my bag used the restroom and returned. It was then that I realized they were all watching television. Man, I love that effing box. It always stimulates conversation so well. So I jumped in my bunk, and no one said a word to me. I opened my book, and tuned out.

On a hard sleeper, I often don’t have a chance to open my book. You start talking to one Chinese person, and then the rest of the people in the car come over to introduce yourself. At the time, it can be a bit frustrating, but sitting in my 4 person cube of solitude, I missed it.

One thing that is nice about a soft sleeper compartment is you have a door and control over your lights. If you had for buddies going on a train trip, it would be a pretty sweet deal. Otherwise, they just go out whenever the person sitting closest to the switch wants. There is no communication, so no discussion. I have my own reading light, so I don’t complain.

Let me explain why I was traveling soft sleeper. 1. It has been a life goal since I was 24 to travel all four classes on the Chinese trains. Hard seat, soft seat, hard sleeper, soft. I have finally crossed that monumental goal of my list. 2. It was the only space left on the last train out of the city. 3. I am a sucker for Chinese television. 4. The beds in the soft sleeper are so much nicer. 5. The high class company. 6. The no-snore guarantee. 7. Stimulating conversation. 8. Control over my own lights. 9. A locking door. 10. Did I mention complimentary headphones?

As you may guess, the first 2 are the only reasons. The last 8 are very sarcastic. I missed the first train I had a ticket for because I misread the ticket. Luckily, I ran into a scalper that had tickets for the last train, and since I was most likely going to be the only one buying, gave me a good deal. Not bad for finishing a life goal.

By far the worst part about the soft sleeper was the snorer in the bunk below me. It was incredible. Huge racking snores, punctuated by fairly articulate sleep talking, broken up by stints of just not breathing. I was supposedly on the most comfortable compartment offered by a Chinese train, and I slept for all of two hours. I was super pissed.

No one else seemed to be bothered. I don't understand. Maybe after another 3 years in China I could sleep through that too.

8 grand traditions of chinese cuisine: guangdong (cantonese)

2009-02-23T11:18:00.002+08:00

To be honest, I'm not sure this counts...dim sum is certainly Guangdong food, but by eating these delicious lunchtime snacks, am I missing what makes Guangdongese food Guangdongese? I have to reevaluate menus and wikipedia, and I'll get back to you.

Disclaimer aside, the food was great at the Gloria Plaza hotel. We had a wide range of dim sum dishes, including the requisite Char Siu Bao, or pork buns (fluffy dough stuffed with sweet sauce and meat), Hargao, or shrimp dumplings, and Char siu sou, a flaky pastry stuffed with pork.

Everything was to my expectations, and this is part of the problem. With Anhui and Fujian food, I wasn't sure what I was getting, or I didn't realize that this food was from those regions. Dim sum, however, my experience runs a little deeper. The one thing that was new was the durian sou, which was a sweet pastry stuffed with that bizarre fruit, yes, you guessed it, the durian.

Every time I pass a durian on the street at my local fruit stand (well, no longer, it's out of season) I was too intimidated to pick one up. The large spiky shell and reports of its off-putting aroma always kept me from purchasing it. If this flaky dessert type thing is any indicator (which I am definitely unsure it is), I would have enjoyed it.

I'll have to get some back in the states. Until then, I will be pondering whether I should go to another Guangdong restaurant, or leave it be. Thoughts?

8 grand traditions of chinese cuisine: fujian

2009-02-22T17:16:00.008+08:00

So, I have about 3 weeks before I leave, and I'm already almost halfway done with the 8 Grand Traditions of Chinese cuisine. I am very impressed with myself.

Fujian food was good, but didn't eclipse Anhui. We had a broad range of dishes, ranging from Iron Pan Chicken Balls to Jellied Seafood. The Iron Pan Chicken Balls--balls of Chicken meat, I'll have you know--were served mixed with onions, peppers, and oil. This was a dish that I have had and enjoyed before, without realizing that it was Fujian dish.

The Jellied Seafood was a bit disappointing. The texture was very provocative, but as an American, with a somewhat limited appreciation for what the Chinese call and I translate as, "mouth-feel", it wasn't very flavorful. However, it was served with a delicious sweet chili sauce that was very reminiscent of Thai food. Is eating sauce with a spoon wrong?

My favorite dish of the night was the sweet and sour pork balls. Like most Americans know, the balls were served fried under a bright orange sauce. It reminded me of Tasty-Goody's 2 lb. meal deal, but of much better quality. The sauce, although it didn't look subtle, had a nuanced taste that I have yet to experience in an American restaurant. In addition, the pork balls were stuffed with water chestnuts, which added texture to the dish, something I often find lacking in its American counterparts.

One of the more bizarre dishes was a tofu and egg dish (upper lefthand dish in the photo). It was simple--cubed tofu and egg in clear sauce--but I have never had an egg prepared this way. The egg was unrecognizable to the foreigners at the table, tough and lacking flavor. It could have been soft cartiledge, for all I knew. Again, it's a question of mouth-feel versus the tastebuds. In my mouth, the tastebuds always win.

Another chicken dish (the lower lefthand dish), this one cold, was served in a red sauce, with a hint of baijiu. There were guesses at the table that the flavor came from fermenting either the sauce or the chicken. That hint of baijiu was enough to bring back many a night (and terrible, terrible mornings-after) in Ningxia, getting drunk on baijiu with officials and heads of ngos. It was at the cusp of putting me off, just due to my history with the infamous alcohol, but I decided it was good, and ate the majority. I wonder how someone who had never had a baijiu hangover would feel about the dish. I imagine pretty good.

But all in all, it was a delightful dinner. Next up, Guangdong (Cantonese) food.

(photo credits Adam Hines)

real winter

2009-02-20T09:52:00.005+08:00

So yesterday, I talked about the beauty that is the Beijing winter. Snow encrusted trees and signs, black tar beneath my bike tires, blah, blah, blah.

Then I rode home.

Travel note: Heading west along the train tracks, fully into the wind, on a cold, smoggy night is not the best idea. But as the sand and crystalized snow found every unprotected crevice of my person, I started to enjoy myself.

Almost no one was out. And those of us who did brave dirt-blown night were bundled up into anonymity. Still I felt there was a communion here. Passing the fully wrapped girl in the pink parka, crossing paths with a man in black walking in the street, the boss bringing in the pots from outside his store, there was some connection. Clearly, I did not stop to ask them about their day...nor did they me. But I felt at one with Old Beijing.

Riding down a dark alley, the Chuar man flipped his collar up as his charcoal flame sputtered in the harsh wind. I have the romantic idea that this was what Beijing used to be like. No laowai walking around, just locals braving the cold and filthy gusts to do what they must.

I imagine they're weren't nearly as many Audis back then, but who really knows?

all sorts of precipitation

2009-02-19T12:00:00.003+08:00

Snow has finally fallen on Beijing, and finally I am content. It is no longer a grumpy, long-in-the-tooth fall I'm experiencing, but actually another season. Where tires tread, the snow is blacker than coal, but resting on the plastic, lightbulb filled characters of various stores, the snow is almost peaceful.

The bike-riding is a bit more hazardous, but if you take it slow, and follow the trail that has been worn through the snow to the pavement by cyclers ahead of you, it's not too dangerous. Riding my bike through the snow-covered leafless trees in the embassy district gets me very pre-nostalgic.

I've had a good run in China, it's been a good time, and the snow almost makes me want to stay.

The key word there is almost...

anhui food and the other 7 chinese grand cuisines

2009-02-17T17:04:00.005+08:00

Before I leave China, I have one single goal: to eat the eight grand cuisines of China. These are the provinces that were around back in the good old days, before the...well, before.

The list is: 徽 (Anhui), 粤 (Cantonese), 闽 (Fujian), 湘 (Hunan), 苏 (Jiangsu), 鲁 (Shandong), 浙 (Zhejiang), and last but certainly not least, 川 (Sichuan).

Last night, we experienced Anhui cuisine at the Anhui Hotel Restaurant, which is run by the Anhui provincial government. A light, spicy group of dishes, consisting of, and I quote:

"Mutton Noodle Hotpot"

"Three Rivers Slightly Fried"

"Hakka's Attrition Bean Curd"

"Casserole Celery"

The mutton noodle hotpot was your normal noodle hotpot suspended above canned heat. Which is quite good...It begins as a lamb noodle soup, but as the meal moves on, the broth slowly evaporates, and imbuing the noodles and lamb with a delicous flavor.

I'm not sure what the three rivers in the second dish were, but one of them was dou ban, or a type of tofu...I think...whatever...it's flavors were subtle and the kick was in a pleasant aftertaste.

Anhui is known for it's tofu, and if this restaurant is the bar, they should be famous for it. The texture (tofu is certainly not known for it's taste) of the tofu was the lightest I've had. It was like biting into a soft custard. The sauce over it was tasty as well, but I was too focused on the delightful texture.

Finally, the Celery Casserole. I have never seen celery like this. As thin as grass, it looked like someone had fried up a cow's favorite meal, and sliced some incredibly spicy peppers on top. This long grass looking stuff, if examined closely, did have the curvature and tubular structure of celery. It was incredible. And extremely spicy. A nice clean crunch followed by some strong spice. My favorite dish.

This meal was a homerun. If the rest of these meals are as good, I will be a happy fellow.

beijing rain

2009-02-13T12:43:00.004+08:00

As the drought wore on, the weather got warmer, and Beijing became livable--walking outside was pleasant with a light jacket, and groups of old folks were beginning to loiter outside my apartment building again, lending a sense of community to my concrete block.

Then they seeded the clouds. At least, I think they seeded the clouds. That's what the newspapers say...but I have met a few ex-pats who don't believe it. I think the idea of farmers firing rockets full of chemicals into clouds is too sci-fi for them. I love the idea of weather control...as I like to say, "we live in the future."

Just where I want to be.

The existence of futuristic weather control technology aside, the rain sucked. It brought the temperature down, slicked the streets, made everyone miserable. Damn the Chinese government for caring about the well-being of their farmers and food supply! (For the cadre who is no doubt scouring this long defunct blog for anti-Chinese sentiment: That was sarcasm. I am glad the government is caring about those things.)

But it did make life a bit more difficult. First, midway through the gray morning, my power went off. Wind blow the powerlines down? No. Ice storm? Nope. Unpaid electric card? Nailed it.

Every so often, I need to travel to the bank and reup my electric card. You give them the card and money, they add it to card, then you slide it in to the meter at your apartment. So I ransacked my house looking for my electric card (they are expensive to replace) and then rode my bike to the bank. That all went well, no hitches, and then on my way back I took a corner too fast, and slid out, giving my arm a bit of road rash and my new jeans a bit of character. As with my other bike accidents in Beijing, no one seemed to concerned. I like to think that it's because I'm always sure to jump up immediately, to show how unfazed I am by the pavement, not that the Chinese people as a whole don't care for my well being.

*this gets a bit heavy here*

On the flip side, the rain did finally wash away the bloodstain from the accident outside my house. I left my house one day on a quick errand and passed a crowd of people, and ambulance, and a poor man lying on the ground, his sleeve soaked with a fair amount of blood. At that time, I was able to hope the man was okay, that he would survive, it was a bad break, but he'd survive. On my way back 5 minutes later, the crowd, ambulance, and man were gone, leaving behind a hat sitting in a pool of blood. I think if that hat hadn't been there I would have been much more hopeful. From then on, every time I passed that spot, the base part of my human nature searched out the stain, and I would utter a refrain of horror under my breath--"Oh god, oh god, oh god." But now the rain has come and washed the stain away, and hopefully, it'll turn back into a just another stretch of street by my place.

*end heaviness*

The rain also pushed me into a little hole in the wall serving Guilin noodles. A new experience, and a delicious one. What really made appreciate the place were placards over each table, much like no smoking signs, warning people of the hot pepper sauce. A rough translation: Our hot pepper sauce is really hot. Please be careful how much you add to your noodles.

It was spicy, but I'm not sure a sauce could ever be spicy enough to warrant such a sign. Makes me think of the overly litigous society I come from.

This rain was yesterday, and today it is clear, bright, and beautiful. Makes me happy that yesterday was yesterday, and I'm in today now.

skiing

2009-02-11T12:57:00.008+08:00

As we approached Nanshan, I'd have had no idea I was nearing a ski mountain, were it not that I was on a ski trip. Everywhere was a deep winter brown--grass, trees, and buildings all. Beautiful.

Nanshan is an hour and a half outside of Beijing. It has maybe 6 or 7 real runs, all of them pretty short. The snow is completely manmade. But it does boast two mogul runs--both maintained by hundreds of farmers with shovels*--and a pretty sick snowboard park. There are 5 or 6 bunny trails besides the 'real' trails, and that's where I spent the first half of my day, smacking my incredibly hungover body against the slushy snow again and again.

I am not a snowboarder, nor do I claim to be. (That might have been a bit redundant there.) But thanks to someone who wanted to be sure he wasn't the worst snowboarder on the mountain, my alcohol enfeebled mind was convinced that I should slip into a snowboard instead of skis. Horrible, horrible choice. I bounced and flipped down the bunny trails, cursing my convincer, then I got up, popped one foot out of a binding, and tried to use the rope tow. Couldn't even do that right...fell out of the tow, which made the cable bounce and land on my shoulder, which through my clothes was able to give me a nasty steel cable burn.

This is the way my morning went. I made about 4 'runs'.

When we stopped for lunch, I was miserable. Luckily, through some smooth talking, I was able to procure some skis (caveat: the equipment is not great). The day was 1000x better from there. I miss skiing, and I like to think the terrible time I had snowboarding made it that much sweeter. Swishing through the slush, passing those in the very flattering wedge tuck position, it was nice to be riding parallel to the ground instead of intersecting with it.

As you might have guessed, there were a huge number of ski patrol at Nanshan--many more than I've seen at any other ski resort. They seemed to outnumber the skiers down at the lodge. Great thing was, once you got on the mountain proper, there was not a patrol to be found. Makes it great for horseplay and dangerous jumps.

The one rule of Nanshan that was enforced was 'put the bar down!!!'. The chairbumpers (who incidentally could not ski or snowboard) would chase down chairs and scream at people to put their bars down. Hey, don't worry about the 6 year old kid careening down the sole black trail out of control--you better get that bar down. You might fall off--or worse. We all saw those mortifying pictures of that dude (but I guess that had little to do with the bar).

My one real complaint, as it has been throughout, is the lack of lines. Man...and I thought the bus was bad. Instead of queues, everyone just crams in where they can. When you have something attached to your feet it gets very political...whose skis are on top? How far are your skis between the legs of the person in front of you? Could I push you down without anyone really noticing? I am not a big fan of Western lift lines. Chinese lift lines made me want to scream.

But besides the BS, it was a great day.

For those of you traveling to Beijing in the winter, this is a great deal for you. 350 RMB (50 bucks) for transportation, tickets, rentals, and a beer and a burger when you return (the dinner alone is worth 100 RMB). Check Cityweekend or Localnoodles.com when you arrive.

*estimation by one George Scott--it might be a little high and/or completely incorrect.

guess who's back

2009-02-11T12:45:00.002+08:00

back again...After an extended, shall we say, sabbatical, I am back again, writing like my life depends on it. Besides a self-conscious worry about the boring nature of my day to day life, I have no excuse. I guess a blogger really needs to be able to put those things aside.

So what has happened in my life since the last post over a half year ago? Nothing much...my Mandarin has improved substantially, I've gotten used to Beijing, and I have decided that I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. But at least it has been a character building experience.

Now I have less than a month to go in Beijing before I begin traveling throughout Southeast Asia. I'm getting prenostalgic, and so I figured I'd start blogging about my thoughts before I start my trip...the things I'm gonna miss--my friends, my landlady, be able to eat to bursting on less than five bucks--and the things I won't--getting black stuff on my handkerchief after blowing my nose, lack of lines, people trying to sell me sexydvds (yes, that's one word).

So let the writing begin, and god help me stick with it.

a big let down

2008-06-20T00:46:00.005+08:00

I have been living my life in a bit of a bubble...

Eating at the same gaifan restaurants, hanging out with the same laowai people, trying to find jobs in the same foreign places.

After the horror that was 2 weeks ago--post still to come--I was excited to get out of the doldrums.

I have been teaching, in some form or another for going on 4 years. Tonight was the first time I had a student ditch--Now for you students out there, block your ears--and it was nice and liberating. I knew I was getting paid, and I had an extra free hour and a half on my hands.

So I went to my favorite, nay, the most convenient restaurant near my apartment. I finished my gaifan, and prepared to leave. On my way out, a group of five laoren came in, and invited me for a drink.

Those who know me, besides my parents, and dare I say it, though I know it will know it will do no good, block your ears, you parental units, you who of all things knowledgeable are known, block your ears. As I was saying, you who know me, who are not related to me by blood, know that I am not one to turn down a drink, a strange smelling pot of soup, an elephant ball full of strange meat, and by ball, I mean sack. (With this distinction, I have to ask...what is an elephant ball, if not an elephant sack? A small plastic sphere, where tiny elephants are contained? Whereby these tiny elephants are able to roll themselves down to a basement darkness unknown by almost all normal-sized pachyderms? I realize now that I may have digressed.)

I sat to drink. After my time in Ningxia, I had been prepared. I could drink beer before Ningxia, but Baijiu was a learned skill from that time in my life. Say it with me, as would Shakespeare, learn ed. Not learned, by any means...but learn id.

We sat, we drank. One of my hosts pointed out that our boss host was a policeman. By the revealer's face, I can only assume I was supposed to be shocked and disgusted by this...but nay, my father is a judge, and you need to muster something much higher than a simple policeman to shock this one.

So I drank with the policeman, acknowledging that we had lived in the same building for 6 months without me knowing. After this fact came to light, I spent a huge amount of time, relative to drinking, remembering all their faces.

I kept trying to secure their phone numbers. To know a policeman, who works in my neighborhood, is a huge windfall. (Oh, you're robbing a liquor store? Oh, but you know Policeman Wang? No problem...we'll see you at the gaifan place.) But they protested. If you have a problem, all you have to do is knock, they said. As a fairly Buddhist fellow, I could not help but to agree.

So we sat and drank, and drank and sat, and only since sitting is more comfortable, we sat as much as we drank, and it all turned out about equal.

Then we said "Zouba!" and turned to leave, as that is what zouba means.

We reached the intersection in the road where we would all turn the same way. It was at that point I realized that racism cuts both ways. Negative and positive. They clearly thought that I was a laowai from their building, while in fact I was a laowai from another building. So we walked apart, most likely never to see another again, since there is roughly a million people in my block.

God, let that policeman remember me.

-------------
Glossary

gaifan (n)--literally left-over rice, refers to a single serving of Chinese food served over a bed of rice.
laowai (n)--literally old foreigner, somewhat derogatory term for...you guessed it...foreigner. 'Cause we look so old.
laoren (n)--same lao...old people.
baijiu (n)--literally white liquor, most likely the worst alcohol on the planet. Made from sorghum, once one has had a hangover from this nasty stuff, they are able to smell a bottle being opened from 100 yards.
zouba (interjection)--let's go!

guess who's back

2008-06-18T11:28:00.003+08:00

I had a psych professor in college who dubbed me "Slim Shady" the first day into freshman orientation. Thank god it never stuck. To be honest, I feel I don't feel either of those words fit me. Well, definitely not slim...

But I am back, after an extended hiatus. My lack of posts were due to a few things over the past few months...stress at work, stress about quitting my job, stress about finding a new job, stress about visas. Even though my troubles are not yet over (God willing, they will be resolved by the end of the day), I decided to get back on my horse and write.

So let the muses descend, and I will have a new, more interesting post by the end of the day.

rush hour

2008-03-22T12:02:00.002+08:00

I might take some flack for saying this, but I feel that you don't really know what rush hour is until you feel some guy's heart beating against your back. Until somebody in a yellow windbreaker comes up and pushes you and another 15 people further onto the train from the platform. Until you don't have to move your hands to hold on (in fact, you can't move your hands to hold on) because the mass of people leaning against you is too great.

This is crazy, but I don't really mind it. Everybody's pretty chill, and we all just lean and sway as the train goes along. I can't help but be pretty deep into community, at that point--anonymous, crushed, and surrounded by hundreds. I feel pretty safe, too. There's no way a pick pocket is going to get anywhere in the crowd, even if he had room for his hands to get into my pocket. If the train derails, there is the padding of the crowd to save me.

The worst part comes when you leave the train. If you're not at a big stop with a lot of others getting out, it's swimming up stream. A sea of people try to get on, and you have act like a running back doing drills to get out. It can get pretty brutal, but there are never any complaints. Get shoved by a woman getting on the train? So be it. A goofy looking white dude carrying a book didn't spare a second thought knocking you out of the way? Take a number. It's get off the train or don't get off the train out here.

I miss nature, but I am getting the hang of this city thing.

chinese new year's eve

2008-02-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

Zhang Sheng, one of my colleagues at work, invited us to his house for Chinese New Year. We left Beijing at 2:15, and arrived in Tianjin at about 3:30, via the nicest train I've ever ridden in China. Not only was there a ton of leg room (my long, long, incredibly long, legs demand it), there was also the wings that you can lean your head on when you pass out. It was great.

Tianjin was nice, too. Comparable population wise to Beijing, it seemed much more open. Zhang Sheng's family was incredibly nice, and we ate the entire time we were there. First it was peanuts and candy, then oranges. Then it was dinner time with about 15 courses. Tianjin is near the ocean, and known for it's seafood. The fish, whole deep fried squid, and oysters were all delicious. The pork was great too. Zhang Sheng's father is a wonderful cook, and his family wants him to move to the States and open a restaurant. Possibilities lie all around.

We ate all we could, the retired to the guest room to play some Monopoly. It was great. I would have won too, if we had not been called to "bao jiaozi" or make dumplings. Dumplings are the traditional food you eat at midnight of the lunar new year. We made a ton, and didn't think much of it.

We then went outside at midnight. The block was a warzone. I've heard multiple reports of people from war torn countries (Israel, Iraq) who leave the country for this holiday season. (Right now, there are explosions outside my window.) It is nonstop for a week before and a week after, but at this time it seemed to come to a head. Everyone was outside lighting strings of firecrackers and bottle rockets. Zhang Sheng's father had a string of m-80's he lit.

The noise the firecrackers make are supposed to scare the ghosts away, and therefore bring good luck, at least as I understand it. GD...these people must be lucky. It was cool though, and when we headed back inside, we all smelled of gunpowder. Which made me feel badass (I mean, more than usual).

By the time we were back inside, the dumplings had been boiled and set out. We ate a few plates, and then Zhang Sheng's family stopped. That left the Laowais. Known for my ability to eat under the eyes of someone who wants me to eat, I was a champ. I told Zhang Sheng's mother that I couldn't eat any more, her children couldn't eat anymore. She responded, "They are not polite. You are polite. Keep eating!" And so I picked up my chopsticks. I think I stopped around 75.

At that point, I was pretty tuckered out. We passed out, only to wake up 4 hours later to catch our train back to the city. I mean, the other city.

It was short, but great. Last Chinese New Year's Eve, I was by myself in Guilin, watching large families through plate glass windows eating massive amounts of food. It was nice to be inside.

quirkiest part of the bj subway

2008-02-10T18:36:00.001+08:00

I see this every day on my way to work. It cracks me up. Everybody sees what I'm talking about, right? (click to enlarge)

new year's at the people's congress

2008-02-10T18:09:00.000+08:00

I may not have guanxi (relationships/influence), but I know people who do. That's why I was invited to Chinese New Year celebration at the People's Congress Hall off of Tiananmen Square.

It was amazing.

This part of the year is the only time that the building is open to the public. It is a grand place. I'm sure I just saw a small portion of it, but it was mostly giant hallways with marble columns and floors.

Inside, there were a variety of things to do. In the main lobby, when you come in the door, there were two bouncy castles setup. The kids were in the lobby of the main legislative building of the CPC, jumping up and down to their hearts content. You could play ping pong against people I imagine were on the national team, and use an exercise bike to power video games as you played them.

There were puppet shows and comedians, and on the main stage, in a giant hall with 3 balconies, there were famous people singing folk songs. It's interesting to see such a focus on culture. I feel like there is no way that people would go to see folk songs sung in the States. I imagine...who is it nowadays?...[insert popstar here] singing Yankee Doodle Dandy to a crowd of thousands. I guess it's the depth of culture, but it's fairly impressive.

While people sang on stage, the audience, as usual, babbled like a brook. You could still hear the music, but I was surprised when a man sitting next to me asked to be quiet, as he couldn't hear the singing. I will easily grant I can be a bit loud at points, but we were in an auditorium with three thousand other people talking. Give me a break. Needless to say, however, I spoke much more quietly.

At the end of the night, I was excited to get back home. This working stuff is hard.

pricing craziness

2008-01-16T09:42:00.000+08:00

Back when I lived in Chengdu, I didn't have to worry about housing. My school provided me with a palatial apartment in the suburbs. Still I quickly noticed the difference in pricing in China.

For example, while I could spend about 20 kuai (a little less than $3) on a dinner for 2 with a few beers, I would have to shell out about 200 kuai (a little less than $30) for a pair of pants. In the US, the price of dinner and a pair of pants (for someone as cheap as myself) is often pretty comparable. This made it very difficult for me to buy clothes in China...not to mention the problem of finding pants that fit.

In Beijing the disparity can be even greater. For instance, I found an unfurnished apartment (which I guess is virtually unheard of in Beijing) for fairly cheap. That was great. What killed me is that I had to pay about $100 dollars more for my bed (mattress included) than one month's rent.

I've decided it's a really cheap apartment instead of a really expensive bed.

back in the china

2008-01-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

Well, I have arrived. You must forgive me a short sabbatical, as I was back in the States for a bit.

I took a red eye from LAX at 12:40, and arrived in Beijing, my new home, at 5:40 the next day. I showered and shaved then rolled into work. What a day. Thankfully, I had caught some sleep on the plane, so I wasn't too bad.

After getting acquainted with my co-workers for the morning, I went out on my first apartment search of my life. At the ripe age of 25, every job I've had and every school I've attended has provided housing. So I've been freaking out.

I may have found the one I want this afternoon, after only seeing three places. While three's the charm, I'm a bit nervous about biting the bullet so early.

Who knows, but it's nice/weird to be back in China.

quiet cab, huh...

2007-10-21T02:14:00.001+08:00

Earlier this evening I took a new Chengdu cab. They are sleek and shiny and more expensive. At a red light, I noticed that the inside of the cab was silent, a large difference from the older models.

I'm pretty sure the driver noticed me notice the silence of the cab. Immediately, we were deep in a silence contest. Having practiced mightily in my youth against stiff competition at MacKenna's Restaurant, I was prepared. The red light must have lasted 30-60 seconds, tops.

It was quiet.

Sure, I heard noise coming through the open passenger window, but inside the cab I could have heard a kuai fall.

Right before the light turned green, I turned my head slightly, making a slight rustle with my hair against the seat. It was finished. I had lost.

A half-step later, the driver shifted his hand on the steering wheel, and the silence was officially over. A few moments passed, as we settled back into the noise, then he let go of the clutch and we moved on.

what the f.

2007-10-08T08:15:00.000+08:00

Let's get the facts straight.

It's October 8th.
I live in the desert...supposedly.
Some people still argue that global warming is a myth.

Yeah, it's snowing right now. Freaking my stuff out pretty bad. Not quite prepared for this type of weather, considering the time of year that I thought I had signed on for.

I'm pretty pissed I washed my camera. And that Li Fengyang and Hu Yanqin's are out of batteries.

Use your imagination:
A wet street surrounded by monotone beige buildings. Thick snowflakes fall, then melt on the ground, making it indistinguishable from rain, other than the fact that it's difficult to see 200 yards away. No one looks any different, clothing wise...they treat it like visible rain. I, meanwhile, have on every sweatshirt I own and my slicker. Not too shabby, albeit I look like the Michelin man.

I'm still in shock.

Life is amazing. Thanks global warming!

snazzy tracksuit

2007-10-07T17:49:00.000+08:00

In addition to being trained in the illustrious art of volleyball, I have been given, along with everyone else, a tracksuit, a basketball uniform, and sweet kicks.

Here is a picture of me modeling my tracksuit, in the bad-ass way that I model.

Here's Xiao Long and Hu Yanqin in theirs. Not as bad-ass, but pretty sweet.

Please, please pick up on the self-deprecating sarcasm here.

volleyball

2007-10-07T17:30:00.001+08:00

During the past few weeks, all the da weis (or workgroups) in the city have been practicing. For what, you ask? Sports Day. Oh yes. To begin the National Holiday, the city of Yanchi holds a sport day. There is basketball, pingpong, running, and of course, volleyball.

I was given the option of volleyball or basketball. Lord knows I wasn't going to play basketball after spraining my ankle, even though I'm probably better at basketball (which means I'm horrifically bad at volleyball). So I went down and met my teammates. We had 2 practices every day, and it was like being back in elementary school.

Kids, excuse me, adults were running all over the place. They would sit out when they got tired. Some of them complained while we were warming up. My favorite was when the men would smoke in the middle of a scrimmage. It was clear that I, as the American, was taking this competition must more seriously than anyone else.

Not that I'm competitive or anything...wink.

The pinnacle of my frustration came when our da wei's basketball team came over and challenged us to a game. Now at this point, I will say that many of our good players weren't at this practice. So we were playing, and not listening to each other, and one man was running around into everyone else's space. We lost 2-1. I was pissed.

But I let that rage go, and realized that I just need to try my best, and do the best that I could.

The contest was supposed to be held last Friday, but was postponed due to rain for tomorrow. Let's hope my team brings their A game. I know I will.

dryclean only

2007-10-06T15:52:00.000+08:00

Well, I was wasted, as I am apt to be on a Sunday afternoon, and had spilled something down the front of my Mayhew hoodie. That is alright. I can deal with that. But in washing the said sweatshirt, I left my digital camera in the pocket.

The camera came out spotless...and non-functional. This before my week of vacation where I was going to visit the legendary Xixia Tombs. Frustration abounded. Luckily, I returned from my trip and the thing would turn on, even if the buttons wouldn't work. If there's some way to get past the date/time setup, I should be in business, just unable to browse my pictures on the camera.

Here are some descriptions of pictures I wanted to take.

The view from the top of Chuangsi Ta, demonstrating that Yinchuan looks like every other Chinese city. Worn out apartment buildings and offices spread out before you like, well, every other Chinese city.
A bus driver smoking as he drives, with a do not smoke sign directly over his head.
Evidence that the dogs in Yinchuan eat a ton of corn, and do not effectively chew it. (Maybe not a picture on this one...but I saw these little presents every where in the city.)
Yinchuan does not only have the first waterslide park (admittedly defunct) I've seen in China, but also the only mini-golf course I've seen. I would have played a round, but where's the fun of playing without friends?
A picture of the best pizza place in China...Robin's Pizza. Imported mozzerella, imported meats. It was real pizza, not the kind you can get at a buffet in China. Pretty impressive for Yinchuan, if you ask me.

But now I've entered into my last week here in Ningxia, and it's certainly bittersweet. I'm ready to go home, but also I've hit my stride here. I'm comfortable, I have friends, my alcohol tolerance is through the roof...life is good.

dance off?

2007-09-29T14:01:00.000+08:00

I, for one, never imagined being embroiled in a dance off. It brought images of Britney and Justin (albeit when they were a bit more innocent) dancing for respect in some L.A. nightclub.

A few weeks ago, that all changed. After dining (and drinking, of course) I met a man and a woman at the restaurant who wanted to drink with me. He was a banker from Yinchuan, and she was a teacher in Yanchi. We played drinking games, took pictures, then my friends and I left for the KTV bar downtown.

The man and the woman were invited, and we were soon dancing all together. The great thing about dancing with the Chinese is the complete lack of self-consciousness that abounds. They are not dancing to be seen, they are dancing to dance. It's a lot of fun.

Soon everyone had sat down except the banker and me. We were both dancing furiously, and it had begun to take on quite an aggressive feel. By the end, when I sat down to rest, I was hustled outside by friends, and we walked home.

It was told to me then that I had been involved in a dance off. Unbeknownst to me, the woman had taken a liking to me, and to defend his honor, the banker had been, to quote Michael Sambell0, "Dancing like [he] never danced before." Clearly, the rhythm of my Anglo-American body put him quickly to rest, but it was a good contest. I'm just glad my friends got me out before we experienced the results.

ps-This picture is not of the banker and I, but of Zhang Bo, a good friend.

wow...hiatus. and soda.

2007-09-26T10:56:00.000+08:00

I figure at this point no one is reading this blog, and for good reason...not posting in a month in a half (two months?) will wreak havoc on a person's readership. But some things I have come across recently need to be commented on.

One of the first happened when I went out the country for a celebration with the director of my company. I'm often dragged along so the clients can see that this organization has real clout. I mean, what more could you ask for than a big (for China) bearded foreigner? As the festivities began, things were traveling along the same old path. Baijiu and beer were produced, and the jinging (or showing respect by toasting the person and both of you drinking) began. Then the games began.

This is where things took a turn for the weird. We were drinking with a few people from my organization, and probably 8 farmers, half men, half women. The women, instead of drinking baijiu or beer, procured liter bottles of soda (Future Cola, an even nastier version of Coke), and proceeded to drink that.

Now at first, I enjoyed seeing the use of such a vile beverage (second only to baijiu) as a punishment. It seems to me that a drink with that much sugar should only be used for such a teeth rotter of a torture. But as the night went on and these women farmers drank more and more of it, I began being unable to imagine drinking that much soda. At a certain point, they called over their children to help them out. It was bizarre to seeing kids helping their parents out in a drinking game, but they enjoyed it. But only up to a point. After two glasses of sugary goodness?, he decided he'd had enough and refused to drink more. Score one for health.

Things in China have been going well, and I'm sorry that I haven't been writing. But life is good. In less than 2 months I'll be back in the States. I already miss it.

spoiled

2007-08-18T14:03:00.000+08:00

Here is a perfect recipe to spoil your child. First, bring him to a grown up dinner of hotpot. People may be smoking, you yourself might be smoking, but that's okay, who's ever been hurt by second hand smoke? While he is there, try to ignore him as much as possible, unless he's hidden the baijiu. At that point, try to lavish enough attention on him until he shows you where he's hidden it. Then begin to ignore him again.

My favorite moment was when this kid--who I also know from the office, where he was sitting at his father's desk screaming "Ba! Ba! Ba!" (ba means dad) for at least a minute, when clearly his father was out of earshot. I told him to go and look for him instead of sitting there screaming, and he did...all it takes is a little chutzpah.--was playing with matches. He was about to light one, when his uncle took the match away. Phew, I thought, at least some one is looking out him. His uncle then took the match, rammed it in his ear as a Q-tip. Meanwhile, his nephew had lit another match, and coughed as he breathed in the sulfur fumes.

Another fun instance was when the kid realized that you could take two lighters and put them together to make one big flame. It was awesome! He smacking his mom was cool too.

Please, parents, pay attention to your kids, and not just only when they've hidden your alcohol.

爽（shuang)

2007-08-06T10:17:00.000+08:00

This weekend was shuang. My newest vocabulary word, my roommate described it as very, very happy. On Friday night, I spent a comfortable night not binge drinking. Delightful. Because of construction our power was off, so my roommate and I played cards. Since there are not many Chinese card games that can be played by only two, I taught him Shifty, perhaps the best card game in the world. (Sorry, Mike.)

He was a quick study, so already we've had some good matches.

The next day, I woke up late, did my laundry, cleaned my room, and mopped my floor. By the time I was done with that, my roommate showed up with the makings of lunch. After a few bites of sausage and green pepper and stir fried green beans, we started playing dice. To be honest, I don't mind playing as long as I don't drink too much. I didn't, and things were comfortable.

We both rested, as that is the Chinese way, and I read my book. I also realized what a timeless movie The Yellow Submarine is. There are many movies that beloved in my childhood, viewed recently, have not stood the test of time. Hook is always first in my mind. Who knew Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman could be so cheesy. But The Yellow Submarine is just as cool and trippy as it was the first time I saw it when I was 8 years old. Perhaps that speaks to the timelessness of the Beatles.

The next day, I just lounged around the apartment, doing little, eating lunch, and reading. I was psyched. I survived the weekend without binge drinking. Sweet. Next weekend, I'm off to Shanghai, and I am ready for it.

Life is good.

my birthday

2007-07-29T17:06:00.000+08:00

After a harrowing night of drinking and hotpot (yes, hotpot) I was informed (again, see the previous post) that I would be traveling to the country on Saturday. Disappointed that I wouldn't be able to sleep in, I woke up hung over for a rollicking, incredibly bumpy ride into the country-side.

First thing I encountered of notice was this interesting plant growing next to corn in a farmer's field. Interesting...very interesting. I was told it was hemp, and only used for the rope and oil that is extracted from it. It was not 大麻 which those leaves might bring to mind.

We were taking a Beijing professor on a whistlestop tour of the country side, so we stopped at many places. The second was a village on the top a rise in a sweeping land. It was breathtaking.

After contemplating the view for a few minutes, we went inside to have ostensibly have lunch. Much to my surprise, my coworkers brought in a western style cake, complete with heaps of frosting. My friends were upset there weren't 25 candles, but I told them it would be okay. We ate the cake, and then started to play drinking games. Beer and sickly sweet frosting are delicious! After a few drinks, we ate lunch for real, which really was delicious...I just didn't quite like the order of the courses.

After that, and a few more beers, we hopped back into the car, and traveled one of our driver's homes where a group of college volunteers were staying. Drinking many beers and then getting into the backseat of an offroading SUV is never a good idea. But I was able to maintain composure.

For much of the time we drove next to an irrigation ditch which flowed throughout the countryside. It is by far and away the most water I've seen in Ningxia up to this point. It must have gone for miles, and in at least two places crossed valleys in huge aquifers. I cannot imagine the amount of physical labor that made this amazing construction.

Finally we arrived at the second village, and immediately I was pulled into another game of liar's dice, but thanks to some luck and some skill (if I say so myself) I was able to escape relatively unscathed.

We returned to Yanchi at about 3 and I rested for a few hours before I was picked up (again, not my plan) and taken to dinner. My plan was to have dinner with my friends at the office (read those do not make me drink), instead I went with a driver to meet his friends in a restaurant while my evening hangover set in. As the night went on, and the room filled with cigarette smoke, my mood steadily worsened. They had gotten me another cake (this one had happy birthday in English, as well as a dog! [my chinese zodiac sign]). This one I convinced them to eat after the meal. We played liar's dice again, but I refused to drink very much, so by the end, I was watching a bunch of drunk Chinese people speaking to fast for me to understand playing drinking games. Just the way I wanted to spend my birthday.

That curmudgeonenous aside, I'm sure they meant it to make me happy, so I tried to force a smile. Unfortunately, many of you know what a great poker face I have, so they may have had an idea about how I felt.

At least now I'm 25...and you know what that means...Hertz baby! Yeah!

introverts, anyone?

2007-07-29T16:46:00.000+08:00

There are many ways in which my Ningxia experience is different than Chengdu. The desert, 50,000 vs. 12 million people, peer pressured drinking. One of the most frustrating, for me, is my lack of autonomy. On a regular day, I work in the office until lunch, or perhaps someone asks me to go the country. Either way, I'm with someone else. Then I go back to the office until dinner time, when I go to dinner with a coworker.

I'm not sure if they're afraid I might get lost, or that I couldn't order for myself, or that I don't have money to pay, or what, but it's frustrating for someone who values his independence. I'm also considering that maybe one of my colleagues is really lonely and that's the reason.

I'm loathe to bring it up, but spending another week of meals wracking my brain to keep up with conversation without at least one meal of just me and my book might drive me crazy.

big puddle (大水坑）

2007-07-23T09:12:00.000+08:00

This weekend I traveled by bus over rocky roads to visit Big Puddle, my coworker Xiao Wang's (小王's) (Little Wang's) hometown. A large part of my trip was being introduced to the family. Everyone was incredibly nice and hospitable. Xiao Wang's family owns a restaurant, so I was treated to delicious food. But by the end of the weekend, my anti-hospitable streak was showing, as I started to get annoyed with everyone telling me to eat.

Why must I be told to eat when I am eating already? It drives me crazy.

By far, the highlight of the trip was when Xiao Wang's brother-in-law, a Sichuan man as well as the cook of the restaurant, cooked me Sichuan food for my last meal there. Mapo Tofu，Huigourou (twice-cooked pork), and gongbao jiding, (the delightful kung-pao chicken). It was the most delicious Sichuan food I had eaten since...well, since I was in Chengdu.

It was only slightly hampered by the addition of Guopi (果啤）or pineapple flavored beer. Very weak stuff (less than 1% abv) but boy was it awful. Luckily the man's 5 year-old son loved it, so I didn't have to drink to much.

Speaking of, this kid was the biggest ham I've seen in China. Climbing over everything, screaming, and at the least hint of music dancing to the delight of all. He definitely had a bit of the "Little-Emperor" syndrome going on.

All in all it was a good trip--the food was delicious and the hospitality was wonderful. I mean, what more can a Laowai ask for?

garlic

2007-07-19T10:29:00.000+08:00

Now please, do not misunderstand me, I love garlic. But all things in moderation. Like dice and mutton, garlic is an integral part of every meal in Yanchi. You might be served a bowl of noodles, or a plate of meat and a bowl of rice. With those things, a bulb of garlic is tossed onto the table, sometimes on a plate, most times not. As you eat, you crush the garlic against the table in order to peel it. Peeled, between bites of food, you take bites of raw garlic. It's a bit much, even for me. Some people eat 2 or 3 cloves a meal. At least it keeps those mosquitos away.

yinchuan with a side of office sleeping

2007-07-13T20:14:00.000+08:00

I spent the weekend in the 银川 Yinchuan office. It's classy place in a residential area, and has a few bedrooms for those of us staying the weekend, so I didn't have to sleep on the conference table. But if I had slept on the conference table, it wouldn't have made much of a difference. A bed in Ningxia is usually a slab of plywood covered with a few blankets. I like a firm bed, so I'm okay.

Sleeping in the office has some drawbacks, however. I'm not a huge fan of getting dressed and ready in front of the NXCEPA vice-president, so I felt obligated to wake up fairly early to avoid any wacky antics that may have already transpired on Bosom Buddies.

The main difficulty was when my coworker's mother showed up. To begin with, my Chinese isn't great, or even very good. That coupled with the fact that she spoke a Ningxian dialect wicked fast didn't help. Whenever she spoke to me, I would either a.) think hard and come up with my best answer, or b.) stare blankly. Both responses would bring howls of cackling laughter.

I know I'm not very particular about my food, but ever since a particular incident in Salt Lake City (sorry Skinny), I have been most serious about not eating more than one meal during dinner. What I mean to say, is if I'm invited to dinner, I do not like to have a pre-dinner.

On Saturday night, my coworker asked me if I liked roast meat. At the mention of roast meat, I get a bit excited. We finished up our work (yeah, I work weekends as a volunteer), and started to leave. As we were heading out the door to meet his friends for dinner, his mother stopped us. "Dinnertime!" she said, I assume.

A bowl of noodles greeted each of us at the table. I began to eat grudgingly, and soon she was tossing slices of Chinese hotdog (a type of sausage with the consistency of soft cheese) into my bowl, splashing broth onto my clothes. There must have been something wrong with my face, because my coworker said, laughingly, "Uh oh mom, he's getting angry."

Happily, the noodles weren't too heavy (compared to a foot-long buffalo-chicken sub), and I was able to fully enjoy the roast meat.

The next morning (Sunday), his mother woke me up wondering if I wanted to save a 5 foot long rubber band (I removed from a tennis ball) I had put in the trash. Again, at least I think that's what she said. I kept saying "Don't want, don't want," and eventually she left me alone.

It's frustrating to me because I shouldn't be frustrated. One of the main problems I had with Chengdu was that everyone around me spoke English. Now everyone around me speaks Chinese, and I'm still not happy. At least now that it's past I'm okay with it, and to be honest, it was more painful frustration than unhappiness.

At least now I'm back in Yanchi, in my own room, with my old roommates, and I'm happy. That is until his mom comes to visit here....cue Psycho soundtrack.

what?!?!?

2007-07-10T09:24:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I was riding my bike to the office when I passed something that made me question my reality. A naked man was sitting in front a tree, in a fairly...open position. He wasn't exactly engaged in omphaloskepsis, but I wish he had been.

This may speak to the abject poverty here in Yanchi County. Perhaps the man lacked a place to maintain his bathing rituals, and he figured that this skinny little tree afforded him the privacy he needed.

On the other hand, I may have misjudged the cultural norms of Ningxia. As I zoomed past on my bike, it seemed to me that the people across the street weren't bothered in the least.

Or perhaps he was just a crazy guy, and since I have yet to see a police officer here, there was no one to help him (for who else feels it necessary to approach a naked crazy man?).

As I rode past today, a nearby square was blasting Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." My first thought was that I'm glad it wasn't playing yesterday, or a probably would have lost my mind.

use your imagination...

2007-07-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

I'm cameraless. I'm pretty sure it got poached off me in Beijing before I left, either that, or I'm a complete idiot. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.

But it's alright, the lack of a lens between me and my surroundings is probably a good thing. Last night was my first night sans a drinking extravaganza. 张永军 (Zhang Yong Jun) and I went and got dumplings at a restaurant.

张永军 has been my keeper of sorts, taking me to meals, providing me with medicine, and even putting me to bed, to make sure I got all the rest I needed. We speak to each other in Chinese and English, and at meals the dictionary goes back and forth quite regularly.

It turns out, as of now, I'm teaching English. I guess I'm probably the only one surprised by these turn of events. When I told Chinese people that I was moving to Ningxia to work for an NGO, they were shocked. How could I not be teaching English. It's clear to me now that if I want to do something different, I need to acquire some skills. The speaking-Chinese skill included.

So I sit at my desk from 8 to 12 and from 2:30 to 6, writing lesson plans and bettering myself. I mean it's only my first week, so who knows. I believe things will heat up further into the summer, so right now I'm enjoying myself, trying to get adjusted.

The people here are salt of the earth, and I feel lucky to be getting such a genuine experience.

address

2007-07-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

Since I'm living in a new place, I thought it might be helpful to put up an address. Clearly, I mean this as helpful to me. The old promise still stands. You write me, I'll write you back. So here's the address for those of you with computers who can handle it. 宁夏盐池县陵园街八号邮编：751500 中国. For those of you who don't have such capable machines, check out this cool jpeg.

blue skies and baijiu

2007-07-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

I arrived in Ningxia a few days ago, and so far, it's been great. The weather here is lovely, and by lovely I mean I can see the sky all the time. It's amazing. I live quite near the Great Wall, which at this point looks more like a natural ridge than a wall.

I traveled to Ningxia with Jake, and when we arrived we met Blandine who was a previous intern at Ningxia CEPA. With her were two other French women, Julie and Silva, who were doing a report for France's new 24 hour news network about microfinance in Yanchi County. With them was a Chinese translator and a French teacher from Beijing. We were then given a tour of the city before they were dropped off at their hotel (it looked quite swanky) and I was taken to my apartment where I will live for the next four months.

Squat toilet aside, I have a great little room and a glassed in porch. I share the apartment with three Chinese people who work for CEPA. Judging by the bunkbeds in the apartment, we might have at least 3 more people move in. The more the merrier.

My bed is a plywood platform covered with blankets. Luckily, I like a firm mattress, and I have my faithful pillow. Unfortunately, I did not sleep well the first night. After I had dropped my stuff off, we came back to the hotel where we met Mr. Long, the head of Ningxia CEPA.

We began a delightful meal of desert onions, lamb, tofu, etc. But about 20 minutes in, the jinging began. A jing is a toast you make with baijiu (白酒）or white spirits. About the strength of vodka, it is served in tiny little white cups, which I'm guessing hold about a shot, if not less. Everyone cheered everyone, many people drinking beer instead of baijiu...I was jealous. After we had made everyone feel sufficiently good, the shaizi came out. Two cups of 3 die each are placed on the table, and one person steps up. In this case, it was Mr. Long.

This meant that Mr. Long had to play everyone at the table in a three game match. Each game carries the penalty of a cup of baijiu to begin with, but those stakes rise depending on the person that is challenged. The French girls (with the exception of Blandine) were drinking beer, but even as time went on, they were challenged with more and more drinks. (Jake told me a story about one of my colleagues' father who in one go had to drink 45 drinks of baijiu. Each game was 9 jiu, and he lost 5 times in a row. Brutal.) If either person during the match loses all three games, it must be repeated, unless the winner drinks with the loser.

After a few trips to the bathroom to void my stomach, the night finally ended with Jake and I doing the old Soule Hall cheer. That consists of one knee on the ground, elbow up, and your glass against the forehead of the person you're drinking with. I drank the the six shots down, and they promptly came back up. I barely made it to the bathroom (some might say I didn't).

By the time I was out, things were finished and I was ready to go home. I set my alarm to go off every fifteen minutes so I could wake up and drink a bottle of water. Even with that precaution, I woke up at six with a pretty awful hangover. Not good for your first full day in the desert.

summer palace

2007-06-28T11:36:00.000+08:00

So I've been sweating like crazy here in Beijing, as I move from place to place, seeing sights and getting things ready for my journey to the west. The first full day I was here, I took 3 lines of the subway (that's the maximum) to drop off my passport so as to get my visa fixed. By the time I got back to my base of operations, it was the afternoon, and I was soaked through.

I took a shower and a nap, got up, and took a cab to the new Summer Palace. It is gorgeous. Built around a lake after the "Anglo-French Invasion of 1860" burnt down the old one, much of it is a line of bridges connecting small islands across the body of water. On the north end of the lake, a palace presides over the complex, giant and imposing.

It was too late when I got there to go inside, but I was happy walking around the lake and decompressing. There were fishermen (I use that in the same way I use the word guys) all around the lake, and even a few people with spears. I can't be sure if they were going for frogs or fish, but this spear was one wicked looking implement.

As the sun went down, the Palace quieted, until I was practically the only 老外 there. I sat on a bench reading about what the Americas were like before Colombus, when a red flash of light caught my eye. It looked like it was the light of a radio tower in the distance, but because of the property of aerial perspective, it seemed too close. As I went to investigate, I could not figure it out. It seemed a red lantern was floating about 20 feet over the water, swinging back and forth, seemingly hung on the sky. UFO was my first guess, and I got pretty excited.

It turned out to be a man I had seen earlier flying kites. His wife had attached a battery-powered LED lantern to the string of his kite, and so in a sense, it was hung on the sky. It was fairly unworldy.

back again

2007-06-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

Well, I apologize again. For some reason it's difficult for me to stay up with my blog when I'm in transition. For the past two months I have been saying goodbye to 成都 (Chengdu). I've been reading articles about 宁夏 (Ningxia). I've been a lump on a log doing nothing.

But soon that will all change. Right now I'm in 北京 (Beijing) on vacation, visiting friends, and meeting a few people who consult with the NGO I'm working with. It's been fun, but a little overwhelming. 五道口(Wudaokou), the neighborhood where I'm staying, houses Tsinghua and Beijing Universities, as well as Google, Microsoft, and Sun Microsystems. The 老外(laowai) ratio is pretty high.

I'm staying with Jake who has been in country for 3 years and Wiley who has been here for 5. My paltry 9 months pales in comparison.

On Saturday, I fly to 宁夏 to begin my adventure. I hope during that time that my Chinese improves and that I grasp at some sort of direction in which to take my life. Either way, it's gonna be an experience.

counterfeit?

2007-05-29T22:32:00.000+08:00

My Chinese tutor had an interesting lesson for me today. She told me that the 50 kuai bill that I had paid her with was counterfeit. When she went to the bank to deposit the money, they took it from her and destroyed it. The poor woman.

She apologized profusely on behalf the Chinese people. When I asked her that I might have gotten the bill accidentally, she was convinced that it was done on purpose. We then went over how to spot a counterfeit bill, along with watermarks, color-changing ink, and textures so even blind people can spot a fake. Unfortunately, none of those things help a dumb American.

So since now I'm out $6.25, I'm gonna start checking my 50s and 100s.

overcoming bureaucracy

2007-05-28T17:37:00.000+08:00

At our dining hall, every day at lunch you have a good choice of a bunch of meat dishes, a few vegetable dishes. Behind a row of teller windows, lunch ladies stand in front of bowls, collecting the chits that are used for currency at DH (that's what I call dining hall [it's catching on]). You get to choose two meat and one veg, as well as a nice big block of rice. Usually, I'll mention one or two of the vegetables or dishes I know and point to the rest. I sit eating with chopsticks, shocking the teachers with my skill.

If someone finishes their tray and is still hungry, they are welcome to go back to back to the lunch ladies to get more...but only of the dishes that they chose the first time. Perhaps they are worried with too many choices the faculty may become fat. I'm not sure why, but some of the teachers have figured a way around this. After finishing your firsts, you clear off your tray into a soup bowl. (Soup is available at every meal. People drink that instead of a beverage.) Using your friend's tray, you get a bit of what you'd like to have that you didn't the first time, and go to the window. Spying your tray, they give you a refill of what they thought was there the first time. And boosh, you've beaten the system. Out of what, I have no idea, but you've beaten it. Congratulations.

syrup? not maple syrup, just syrup.

2007-05-22T10:57:00.000+08:00

Squat toilets are not the most sweet smelling things. Trough squat toilets smell even worse. I will not describe the odor of trough squat toilets in a boys high school rest room. As Nadia and I pass the bathrooms, we can tell what day it is. Monday isn't too bad, but on Thursday I'm nauseous for the 20 seconds as I pass those foul rooms.

Today, however, there was a sweet smell of syrup as I walked by. Now this is not the syrup of the majority of my youth, not the amber nectar that is produced from the beautiful maple tree. This is the smell of fake syrup, of the french toast sticks of Burger King on an early morning trek to a ski race.

There is something pretty disturbing about the combination of smell and location. The smell is pleasant, but shouldn't be. The dissonance makes it that much worse. But, eh, such is China.

buddhism

2007-05-13T12:03:00.000+08:00

This week, I'm trying to be Buddhist. I'm not drinking alcohol or eating meat. Avoiding these things isn't hard, as there are plenty of veggie dishes, as well as plenty of vegetables in the meat dishes. My main difficulty is dealing with the external peer pressure and the internal rationalization. Patrick feels weird drinking alone, and I can't blame him. Especially since I stare longingly at his glass as he drinks it.

Yesterday, I had planned the crown jewel in my no meat week. At all the major temples in Chengdu there are vegetarian restaurants. I took 3 buses to get to this temple, paid 5 kuai, and found out the restaurant was closed, just for that Saturday. Right then and there I almost went to How Nice, a Brazilian Barbecue buffet. But in Buddhism it worse to break your vows than to ever make them in the first place, so I reined myself in.

Instead, I went to the supermarket and bought all the vegetarian western food I could think of. Milk, cheese, bread, spaghetti sauce, real orange juice (hard to find), peanut butter, jelly, and most importantly, Planter's Honey Roasted Peanuts. I then gorged myself on them and watched Patton. Take that China!

So now I'm trying to recover from a peanut binge, but I still haven't broken my vow. I'm just glad I didn't make it lifetime.

a fantastic ride

2007-05-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

After class today, I packed my bag full of books (V. by Thomas Pynchon, Chinese books by Chinese teachers) and headed off on my bicycle. I rode west and north to explore Xi Pu and Pi Xian. Pi Xian is about a half an hour away by bike, and gorgeous.

I went down one street with trees on one side, and a river on the other. All the establishments on this road were either tea gardens, beer gardens, or just garden gardens. If anybody else visits, this is where I'm bringing them.

Riding around in Pi Xian today, I came up with a new way to practice Chinese. If anyone says hello to me, I turn around, ride back to them, and ask them (in Chinese) if they speak English. This is a great opening into a conversation, and I met a ton of people.

On my way back, I passed an electric scooter, and then he passed me. As he passed me, he asked if I was tired. I said no, but he still offered his shoulder to me, and we shot down the road toward my home. We had a broken conversation--steering a bike, holding on to a shoulder, and speaking Chinese is a bit much for me--but it was good enough. Often I fantasize about grabbing on to the back of a scooter. It was nice to have someone offer.

It's too bad my time in Chengdu is winding down. Things are going so well.

xi'an and surroundings

2007-05-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I've been on vacation (along with the rest of China). I also had the post-vacation work rush to deal with, hence the mid-week post.

Brian and I took a train up to Xi'an on Monday. We had a hard sleeper which was counter-intuitively comfortable, albeit intuitively hard. On the train we talked to a gaggle of strangers. One woman who I met after just getting on the train and putting my bags away was a real charmer. I told her in Chinese: "It's too hot!" She returned, "Perhaps it is just that you are too fat." Delightful. Now don't get me wrong, almost everyone calls me fat in China. It's just the too fat that bothers me. (Luckily, my Chinese teacher told me that she might have meant very fat, not too fat. Great.) The ride was a piece of cake, most of the sixteen hours happening while I was asleep.

Xi'an was cooking. Spring has sprung in China. Everywhere women had their umbrellas, their giant welder's-mask-like sun visors, their newspapers. We spent the first day checking out Xi'an proper, inside the giant city walls.

The day after, we went to the Terracotta Warriors, because if you're in Xi'an and you don't, you're an idiot. I wasn't too sure. First, we had to wait 45 minutes for a public bus. Then, about 2 or 3 kilometers away from the site, we hit huge amounts of traffic. It's barely a two-lane road, and there are buses up and down it. We finally get off the bus and walked. We walked past the entrance, and up into this tourist complex. It was filled with vendors, restaurants, and more vendors. All of them selling Terracotta miniatures for "one dollar!" When we arrived at a gate, we were told, nay gestured, that we were at the exit, and we had to walk back through the complex. And the vendors.

We finally made it in, and it was impressive. I can't imagine having all that built just for my dead body. But hey, maybe the afterlife is a rough place, and you need a division of clay soldiers to protect you. The sheer scale of everything in China is pretty amazing, and this rests its case.

We stood in line for another hour and a half for a bus back, and when we arrived, we ate some Paomo (noodles and lamb poured over pieces of bread), and I passed out.

Next we went to Hua Shan (Flower Mountain), THE MOST DANGEROUS MOUNTAIN IN ALL OF CHINA!!!!! Boy was it dangerous. We hiked for eight hours, and the scariest moment was when we thought we were going to be caught in a mob that was trying to push past some security guards/police. The place was crowded with tourists, but if you kept hiking up and up, you eventually outpaced the rest. On the east peak (there are five peaks in the shape of a blossom[I guess...], hence the name of Flower Mountain), we bought beds at exorbitant prices, and prepared for the sunrise the next morning.

We must have arrived early, for the rest of the night people trickled in. They either took a bed, or just bought a long army parka called a da yi (literally big clothes). By the time I turned in, there were people huddled against every wall, sometimes in a da yi, many times not. When I woke up at 4 (a little early for even a sunrise) I had to step over people sleeping outside my door. I staked out a spot and absorbed the quiet beauty of the mountain without an incredible amount of people. By the time the sun was rising at about 5:30, the barriers on the peak of the mountain were crowded like people were waiting for the Shriners at a parade.

A gorgeous sunrise, then a race to the bottom. Some of the other tourists waited for the last cusp of the sun to clear the horizon, and set off at a dead run for the bottom (Or to be accurate, the cable car to the bottom). We set off at a leisurely pace, and got to the cable car (after standing in line) at about 10:30. We then had a horrendous bus ride back that took almost twice as long, due to construction, and you guessed it, traffic.

The next day I spent relaxing, and the day after that, we took the train back to Chengdu. Now when I bought the tickets I could have sworn the lady said soft seats. Considering my Chinese, I was completely wrong. I booked hard seats. But since this time I had an seat assignment, and I wasn't standing room only (like I was for my previous 14 hour hard seat experience) it was cake.

My favorite thing about hard seats is that they try to sell you some great stuff. Sure there's snacks, drinks, beer, and even hot food, but they also try to sell you bracelets and toys and cool games. By far, the best, however, is the sock salesman. First he throws packets of socks at you, the motivation being that if you are simply close to the socks, you will want to buy them. Then he lets you touch the socks. Then he takes a fork, or some other object with a bunch of tines, stabs it into the sock, then drags the fork the length of the sock three or four times. The sock comes out unharmed! It is amazing. The final act is when he gets some unsuspecting audience member to grab one edge of the top of the sock while he grabs the other, and they both are unable to tear this incredible garment asunder. I'm shocked that I've been through two hard seat rides and I haven't bought any socks. I have a will of steel I tell you, a will of steel.

Finally our trip was done, and I was able to get some good spicy food. I missed Chengdu.

Editor's Note: Never ever travel in China during the first week of May, first week of October, or Spring Festival. These are national holidays, and everywhere is packed. I saw numerous guided tours, families, tourists, and it drove me nuts. You could come at any other time to China. Do not come during national holidays. DO NOT.

le shan revisited

2007-04-27T13:28:00.000+08:00

Midterm exams began the day before yesterday, and while the Chinese teachers and students worked hard, the foreign teachers were whisked off to Le Shan. Patrick and I had visited once before, but because of the crowds, we were only able to see a giant ear and face. We figured since this time it was a Thursday, and it was raining, the line wouldn't be as bad. It wasn't. Still it was pretty bad.

After being led around in circles, we were finally able to get to the spot where you either to decide to a.) wait in line for 45 minutes to slowly walk down stairs (still in a line) to see the Grand Buddha from his feet, or b.) give up. Our guide took told us that the only way down was by this staircase. This clearly wasn't the case, as we certainly had not come in via those stairs, and the party began to get restless.

A quick note: our party was augmented this rainy day by 2 headmasters from 2 schools in England. I think their presence made it easier for the following to happen.

As we stood in line, I thanked God I had glasses on, because the chance of getting poked in the eye from a stray umbrella spar was quite high. While I watched, a woman looked me straight in the eye, and cut me. This is the type of thing that bothers me. I don't know why. It just does. I said hello to her, she smiled, nodded, said hello back, and moved forward more, just to make it clear who was ahead of who. I decided I didn't want to stand in line anymore.

The first time in Le Shan, Patrick and I regretted not taking a boat to see the Buddha. You miss all the lines and you get a better perspective on Da Fo. We'd been talking it up all day, and our stint in the line finally riled people up enough to demand it.

We exited the park, got back in the minibus, and drove to the docks. There was another hour long wait for the big boat. Not deterred, our driver found us a motorboat. There was no line, but it was open-topped and expensive. Luckily, it wasn't our money we were spending. We got into the motorboat, and it sped off towards the statue. In 5 minutes, we were out in front of it, staring at it's grandeur. The boat took as many pictures as possible, and we headed back. The trip, all-told, took 15 minutes. The boatman took away 450 kuai for that 15 minutes. That's...1800 kuai an hour, as David Brent would point out. For my money, it was worth it.

After an exciting boat ride, we were bundled back into the minibus and taken to the swankiest restaurant in Le Shan. I stuffed myself full of tofu, pig's ear, a tofu dish very reminiscent of fried dough, and many other things as well. Delicious. Washing it down with a few beers, I slept most of the way back to Chengdu. Not bad for a Thursday.

flip-flop fascism

2007-04-24T10:55:00.000+08:00

I have always been a sandal activist. I brought this type of comfortable footwear to the Athenaeum, Trustee Meetings, etc. I even faced down a professor at an Ath Committee meeting about it. At college, it was about all that any administrator could say to me. "Got your sandals on, I see." (Except DOS. They rock.) College is great because you aren't getting paid, you are paying (or more precisely, being paid for). That makes you the boss, in my book.

Jobs, however, are different. At school I am not the boss. At my old job, I had to wear a tie. A tie doesn't bother me, as long as I can wear flip-flops. Couldn't do that either. But I could deal, because you can make the argument that wearing flip-flops is too casual with a shirt and tie.

At my new job, this is not the case. Teachers wear ripped jeans and t-shirts to class. And so when my boss tells me that slippers are too casual, I want to say that we should not allow ripped jeans or t-shirts. Or even that everyone needs to wear their uniform, which is a chilled out gray suit. I'm pretty sure however, that not one teacher would approve of that decision.

But I think it gets back to culture. While almost all clothing is considered fashionable and perhaps more than casual, it seems that footwear might have a decided message to it. I think I may be straying too far away from that foreign teacher ideal that my administration is shooting for. I'm not sure what the connotation of the flip-flop is, but I have a feeling that the middle/upper class with their long pinky nails and fear of the sun may not like it.

No matter. Since entering the real world, I have become a little less headstrong [read wimp, pragmatic, smart, whatever]. Sandals are not what is important in life. I think. I'm not positive, though.

P.S.--I chose fascism only because it was an alliteration. *wink*

painful news

2007-04-23T21:53:00.000+08:00

I'm a bit self-conscious in China. Continually on my guard against pick-pockets, swindlers, and laowai who speak better Chinese than I do, I might be a bit more sensitive to perceived insults, value-judgments, and borderline patronizing comments. A Chinese English speaker on the bus a few weeks ago asked me if I knew the city of Beijing. Another asked if I knew how many people lived in China (my number was more recent than hers).

Therefore, I get a little touchy when discussing the Virginia Tech tragedy with the Chinese. Now this just might be where my head is at, but with some people it seems like there is some triumph in their eyes when they ask, "Did you hear about the Virgina University....?[the hand gesture for pistol is used]"

One of my students posited that since it is so important to make money in the United States, that if you don't do it, you go crazy. I told him that Seung-Hui Cho was troubled before he moved to the United States, but he either did not understand or did not listen.

Another was worried that this would affect his chances of going to college in the States in 4 years. I told him, with all confidence, that firstly, that Mr. Cho was South-Korean, and secondly, he was an outlier and no one in the US would say that all South Koreans are that way, much less all Asians.

It occurred to me later that perhaps my idealism prevents me from seeing the truth. Perhaps my student will have difficulties getting into the States because of this incident. I hope to God he is wrong, but who am I to say with such assurance that it won't happen?

I always try to answer questions as honestly as possible. Even then, afterwards I sometimes get the feeling that I may have been telling what I thought was the truth to my student and fooling myself.

a nice house

2007-04-22T04:43:00.000+08:00

This was a sweet place. First off, it's on Zhi Min Street. Now, pronounced correctly the street is ja meen, which is close enough to sound like German for me. And the name of the place was Rhine Side. Now, a place that is set up for me to lay a joke like that and make an incredible first impression with party goers...wow...it's gotta be great.

I went through a sparse lobby and rode the elevator up to the 21st floor. I noticed at that point that after the 15th floor, the buttons went up by twos. When I entered the apartment, I could see why.

The best thing about this apartment, by far, is the spiral staircase in the center of the living room, which led up to a sitting area and the bedroom, on the 22nd floor. Freaking sweet. Even better, I got to christen the banister with an inaugural slide down, because since the owner hadn't thought to try it yet. The ride was short, but well worth it. They do need to wax the banister a bit more, however.

In addition to a spiral staircase, they have a large balcony with a set of patio furniture and a beautiful view. Great for parties or a quiet breakfast of watching the world go by.

The feather that made the camel's posturpedic mattress that cured his back pain was a full sized oven, which many said was the first one they had seen in a house in China. Mine is the size of a toaster oven.

The company was pleasant as well, but what I would do for a banister of my own!

Rediculous house, nice house party.

a delightful cab ride

2007-04-22T04:11:00.000+08:00

After a nice house party, and a ridiculous house (which i have just decided to write a whole separate entry on), I made my goodbyes and started home. I was gonna walk to Tianfu and take a cab from there to save some extra kuai, but after a cab made a U-ie for me, I decided to take him up on his offer, even though I had a few more blocks to go.

I asked him to take me home, and he gave me the uniform, "Your Chinese is good." I think he said something about me saying Xipu better than some Zhong Guo Ren, but I can't be sure because I didn't understand him. He proceeded to talk to me at such a rate that I felt the Micro Machine spokesman couldn't keep up. I told him I understood a little, and to speak slower. At that he threw his head back and laughed (we were luckily at a green light), and said, "Your pronunciation is good but you don't understand anything!" We shared a small chuckle about what a crazy laowai I am, and drove the rest of the way in silence.

When we arrived at my school I paid, and he gave me a wave and a thumbs up. Exactly what I needed.

Jon Grassbaugh: A Good Man Who Will Be Missed

2007-04-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

Jon Grassbaugh, an American soldier in Iraq was killed on April 7th by an IED. I went to school with him, and he was a solid, funny, easy-going guy. He was able to bring levity and fun into any situation, and he will be missed by all who knew him. A link to the Concord Monitor article is here. Whatever the American objectives are in Iraq, we are paying a terrible toll.

Chuan Ju

2007-04-19T17:15:00.000+08:00

The night of the Panda morning, Brian, Patrick, Strav, and Steve had a quick dinner before a minivan picked us up at our school and drove us to the Sichuan Opera. Now the Sichuan Opera we saw turns out to me not the traditional opera, but more of a vaudeville show with many different acts.

Many of the acts were done in traditional Sichuan costume, I believe. We began with a fight between the heroes of "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms," and their enemy, Lu Bu. Brightly colored costumes and intricate choreography kept me from taking pictures, but man, was it great. There were some songs and dances, a comedic/acrobatic skit featuring a strong woman and her soft-eared (read whipped) husband. Another great act was two women juggling with their feet. awesome. Yeah, those are tables.

The penultimate act was what everyone comes for, the mysterious face changing. Seven or eight dancers came on stage with cloth masks on. They dance around, and every so often, there will be cymbal crash, and his or her mask will change in the blink of an eye. I think I figured out how they got the masks off (I'm not telling), but I can't figure out how they were able to put the masks back on as they did at the end of the act. Talk about entertaining.

After the show was over, the cast all came back on to thunderous applause, and we left the operahouse, boarded a van, and rode back to Xipu. Needless to say we were bushed, and after a few oreos, we went to bed.

Complaints Abound

2007-04-19T13:55:00.000+08:00

Well, listen, I've talked to some of my readers, and I have recieved two complaints about my blog. One, it has been lacking capitalization, and two, it is not updated often enough. Well, here is my attempt to appease both of these complainers.

In my defense, I've always thought lack of capitalization was a nice socialistic idea, giving no word any extra force, whether it be referring to myself, the beginning of a sentence, or dare I say it, God. But we'll see how this works out, if it really is easier to read this way.

As for my posting, I have fallen a bit behind in that. I've been making new friends, I have 3 more Chinese lessons a week, and I am still lazy. 3 strikes against me posting regularly. I am still going to my best to overcome my challenges, and angry readers are a great motivator. Thanks for your interest, and be excited to read a post tomorrow. (Fingers crossed.)

pandamonium

2007-04-05T14:09:00.000+08:00

get it? get it?

after a few days of leaving strav and steve to their own devices (which mostly consisted of oreos and sight seeing), jesse came on thursday. his plane got in on time (shockingly!) and we had a great dinner at cheers, where strav turned his charm up high. after a lot of smiles and a good meal, we hit the sack.

the next morning we were up early, and took a cab to Panda Headquarters, Chengdu. Basically a big panda zoo, the enclosures were spacious, with a ton of bamboo and jungle gym type apparatuses. we got there at 8 when it opened, and were disappointed by the lack of giant pandas. my guide book said that after 10, when they've been fed, they become basically comatose. we walked around for a while until they began feeding. i think you may have had to been here to understand, but they were so human.

the bamboo is put into holes drilled into the ground, so it stands as if it grew there. the adult pandas waddle over, take a seat, and rip a stalk off. they peel it with their teeth, and begin to munch away with abandon, every so often stopping to get another stalk. one kept hitting another in the face with the shoots, but neither seemed to care. it was great.

we then walked up to the panda cub enclosure, where there were about 8-10 panda cubs playing and eating. they would climb over the jungle gyms, fight, and chase the scrubs-clad zoo keeper around. pretty cute.

after that we saw some red pandas, which look like a cross between a fox and a raccoon that climbs trees. we could have had our pictures taken with it, but 50 kuai seemed a little much. maybe next year. after that, we walked around a little, then headed back home. we arrived at school at about 11. not bad for a morning's work.

sunday funday

2007-04-05T10:50:00.000+08:00

the day after st. pats, we woke up late, and went to check out chengdu xiao chi cheng, famous for its snacks or "small eats" (xiao chi). apparently, my luck of the irish ran out, because i was hurting that morning. we made our way to a cab with bags in tow, and got in. i tried to explain to the cab driver where we wanted to go, and either because my voice was too gravelly, my chinese was polluted from the night before, or we were marked for uninformed tourists, i did not have an easy time. eventually, i got out my rough guide to lay it out for him, and the cab driver still got the wrong place.

he dropped us off at chunxi lu, chengdu's premier shopping plaza. the noodle restaurant he thought we wanted was packed to the gills with chinese, leaving us no place to sit, let alone put the huge bags. instead, we walked through chunxi lu, ogled the commercialism, and caught another cab on the other side.

we took this to dufu's cottage, which was our primary tourist spot we were going to hit after lunch. luckily, almost every tourist attraction in chengdu has a restaurant somewhere inside, so we went looking for some tasty, yet pricey fare.

apparently there was a wedding reception just ending at the restaurant as we entered. there were huge round tables covered with red table cloths, confetti, and a few hardcore guests still eating and drinking. i could smell the baijiu, having a bit of experience with it, but steve and strav did not seem to notice. we were led off to another room where we were given an english menu to peruse. we ordered a wide range of things, including something listed on the menu as "simmered pears." i should have recognized the characters for ku gua.

our meal came in fits and starts, as is it is the way a chinese restaurant works. midway through, strav got up to use the restroom. it was here that strav had his first real baijiu experience. he came back talking about a bathroom covered in vomit and stinking of baijiu. as anyone who as drank it can tell you, it has a very distinctive smell. from that point on strav could smell what i was talking about in the main room.

eventually the "simmered pears" came, which was actually bitter melon. my least favorite vegetable in the world (no hyperbole there), bitter melon is...well, extremely bitter. it is said to take away the burning of sichuan food, but i would much prefer to burn. i can't help make a face like i'm drinking baijiu while eating it. we left soon after, with our lives intact, and began to explore dufu's cottage.

dufu is a famous chinese poet, and his place was niiiiiice. i guess he lived in a 4 room grass hut, but all around it there is a compound that might suit the chinese kennedy's. though it's a beautiful place to walk around, it was very similar to every other park in chengdu. bamboo, koi ponds, flowers, and ancient chinese buildings. the one thing that was different was a room full of statues of 10 of the most famous chinese poets and summaries of their lives in chinese and english. it turns out most of them were failed officials.

also, mao visited and had his picture taken there, so all the chinese tourists have their picture taken in the same spot. according to their motto for this trip, "when in rome..." strav and steve also had their picture taken there. check out the mao-type looks on their faces.

after that we took a cab to my apartment and chilled a bit. steve and strav settled in, enjoying the mint oreos that china has to offer. after some good maxin', we went to cheers, where strav promptly fell in love with fuwuyuan (waitress). he was no match for her smile, sunny disposition, and huge vocabulary that patrick and i (mostly patrick) taught her. after a great meal (of course), we headed back to my place and crashed. what a delightful, albeit a bit hungover day.

qing cheng shan (green castle mountain)

2007-03-31T13:30:00.000+08:00

so the first day that steve and strav got here, we woke up, grabbed a bus and took a two-hour ride to qing cheng shan. after a nice bus ride full of cards and reminiscing we arrived in the crisp, cleaner air of the mountain. we had an expensive lunch of unspicy sichuan food. i think they saw us as wimpy tourists and took it easy on us. way too easy. boring kung pao chicken, boring fish flavored eggplant, boring qing cheng greens. ah well, it set the guys up for a delicious initiation into chengdu cuisine, which they had yet to experience.

as we climbed we ran into porters which were carrying people up the mountain in sedan chairs. pretty ostentatious. at one of the temples which line the path to the top, i had a conversation with one of these porters. quickly we got on to politics, and soon he was talking about bu si. i couldn't figure it out until he yelled it 80 times in a row, at which time all three of us laowai realized he was talking about our illustrious president. he went on to talk about yi la ke, and how that was a big bad egg. very interesting.

we thought the steps would never stop. finally, we reached the top of the mountain, and in the clouds there was a giant pagoda with a huge golden cow inside. it was about 30 feet high, and 40 wide. i'm pretty sure the god of the 10 commandments would not be happy about it.

we climbed down, and had a nice bus ride back. we had a quick nap, and then went out to celebrate st. patty's day. huge deal in chengdu. big irish-chinese population. not really. but it would be cool if there was.

explanation

2007-03-31T13:20:00.000+08:00

again, sorry for the break. steve, strav, and jesse visited last week, and i spent the days after cleaning up and recovering. this entry marks that i'm back to a hundred percent. we had a great time, and because of them, i got to see a bunch of the sites in chengdu that i haven't checked out before. so to come are a bunch of entries about the entertainment of these three intrepid travelers. check it.

a nice lunch

2007-03-16T22:36:00.000+08:00

i sat down to lunch alone in the cafeteria. it was 12:10, 5 minutes before class got out, and the place was empty. when class got out however, a few people sat down. first was an art teacher i met a few weeks ago. he set his students' drawings on the table as he went to go get food. while he was gone, hiro came by and sat down, and then a student i met a few nights ago. i felt like the most popular girl at the dance.

so we sat and ate, and talked about march madness and sports terms in chinese. the yuen dong, the art teacher, asked me what i was doing after lunch in chinese. sadly, i didn't understand him the first time, even though that was the exact same question i was asked 30 times the day before in our weekly chinese class. luckily, i got him the second time.

i said resting, which was one of the responses from class, and he offered to show me his classes' paintings and drawings. we walked into the gym--first time i've been there--and looked at the easels and the drawings. pretty good, in my opinion. while we were checking out the art, his phone rang, and he motioned for me to follow him.

we went out to the street, where the vendors are. we stopped by the fish vendor, which is a guy standing next to a modified motorcycle with a pick-up truck for a back filled with a tarp, water, and fish. most of the fish were this boring bottom of the river black, but one was a bright orange koi. gorgeous. as dong pointed to the orange one for the fishman, i worried about the future of this delightful fish.

after dropping it on the ground only once, the fishman got the koi in a plastic grocery bag. dong paid him 20 kuai (2 and a half dollars), and we walk off toward the condo development north of my school. i've never been past the menacing guards, and boy was it nice. we walked through a nice little park, and to a condo, which dong yelled up at. a woman peeked out quickly, then disappeared.

a nice old lady answered the door, and we went into the largest house i've seen so far in china. to be honest, i've not been into too many houses. she took the fish from dong, and the went out into the backyard, with me following behind. outside there was a gorgeous patio and luckily, a nice koi pond. phew. the fish got dropped in, and li bobo--at least i think that was it--gave me a handful of fish food. so i fed the fish, and then we walked back to school.

on our way back we talked about cars, and i learned the word for gasoline, and i told my first wittisicsm in chinese. (it was about how these giant suvs often have tiny people inside them). eliciting laughter is always nice...but i guess i shouldn't be too happy about it.

what a great day!

the rocking of class 9B

2007-03-12T11:42:00.000+08:00

ah the fickle crowd. at the beginning of class, i was handed a note, nay, a letter, by my rebellious student about how to make my classes better. turns out i didn't need it.

i rocked them hardcore...with a lesson plan i borrowed from patrick. it occurs to me that preparation is a huge part of teaching and preparation is not my strong suit. now the fact that it's taken me well into my 2nd year of teaching to realize this says something. luckily, it seems that at least one of patrick's strong suits is preparation, so for the rest of the semester, i'll be appropriating as much of his preparation as i can for myself.

i think 9B should be my litmus test. i think my other classes, while they might feel the same as 9B--that the lessons are boring, they don't like what we're doing, etc--they are too frightened or polite to say anything. 9B has no such compunctions. if they don't like it, they ignore me, or stand up in class and berate me.

just what i needed.

quote

2007-03-06T18:02:00.000+08:00

before class.

boy 1: something indecipherable in chinese.
boy 2: he says you are fatter than before.
me: oh.

pretty straight forward. no offense meant, no negative connotation--i've just added some meat to the bones.

does make me want to start running again though.

the revolt of class 9B

2007-03-05T14:05:00.000+08:00

this new semester has been going well. i'm energized, the students have been energized, i had a good lesson plan...and then 9B happened. with a vengeance.

they are my toughest class, and i have them monday mornings. i have two students i think who are on a listening comprehension of the rest of my 8th grade classes. the rest tune out immediately, chatting with each other, reading chinese books, and working on other homework. i try to get them chatting with each other to explain to me the traditions associated with chinese new year. in past classes, they have fallen right into it, excited to explain to the laowai about their culture.

here, they sit dejected in their seats. after five minutes of chatting in chinese, i ask for some answers. blank stares. one girl raises her hand and starts speaking to me in chinese. i ignore her, and sigh with relief when one of my two students prepared for my class puts his hand up. i call on him, and he tells me, with defiance, that this plan is boring.

not what i expected. luckily, the second half of my lesson plan is a survey trying to figure out what my students want to learn this coming semester. i explain this in simple terms to the class and to my defiant student who is still standing. i hand out the survey, emphasizing that this will make class less boring, and more about what they want to learn.

my defiant student finally sits down, luckily, they did not applaud him, and i tell him if he thinks this class is boring, i need his help to make it more exciting. his solution is that he acts as my interpreter, translating my english instructions into chinese. i explain to him he may be missing the point of having a foreign teacher.

the bell finally rings, and i collect the surveys. a collection of poignant insights to help the class be more enjoyable they are not.

what would you like to learn about american culture?
i don't want to learn. i love china.

i'm afraid what we have here is a classic case of miscommunication. i gotta figure out how to bridge this gap. i know they can do this, i just got to get to them somehow.

luckily, i'm optimistic.

chengdu rediscovered

2007-03-04T17:39:00.000+08:00

it's good to be back in chengdu. cdfls (my school) has hired a new teacher to take rachel's place, brian, and the new blood has invigorated both patrick and i. tian fu square which has been closed for renovations since i've been here is now open as well. from a bird's-eye-view, the square is giant yin-yang symbol, with two fountains for the dots. patrick says that now the mao statue is much more imposing, and i agree.

but the new semester is going well. i'm rejuvenated, and so are my students. only 4 more months teaching.

we also ventured into the city to an ex-pat bar, something that i have been wary of doing. it was interesting to see how many foreigners there are. the next night, we met nadia and one of her friends at a turkish restaurant, and lo and behold, many of the faces from the ex-pat club were there. i just don't want to fall into a habit of hanging out exclusively with non-chinese. luckily, living an hour by bus away, that is not likely to happen.

but it's nice to be back in chengdu, even if i don't feel as strongly as zhang yimou.

final tally

2007-02-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

so using my trusty memory, i kept track of all the laowai i met over the time of my trip. interestingly enough, americans came in the lead with an astonishing 14. even more interesting is that i did not meet an american until the last leg of my trip in guilin. the next runners-up were the germans with an amazing showing of 12. third were the english with 8. the rest of the totals were as follows:

scots: 2
canadian: 7
swiss: 1
dutch: 1
indian: 2
french: 2
kiwis: 2
italian: 1
danish: 2
brazilian: 1
irish: 1
israeli: 2
belgian: 1
czech: 2
australian: 2

yangshuo

2007-02-19T11:12:00.000+08:00

after a somewhat disappointing beginning to spring festival, things picked up yesterday. taking a boat down the li river, from guilin to yangshuo, i was able to see some of the most spectacular scenery this country has to offer.

yangshuo is a pretty interesting place. a small town with a huge tourist industry, yangshuo is a haven for both chinese and western tourists alike. there are a few streets packed with hostels and cafes, as well as tourists. for me, seeing so many westerners makes me feel a bit self-conscious. luckily, by walking a few thousand meters northeast, i was able to find myself back in china, where i felt much more comfortable.

i spent the whole day exploring. in yangshuo there's book exchanges in the cafes, so i set out with two highly valued books--both literately and monetarily--and set out to find a few good books. the first place had a big sign advertising books for sale, selling, and trading. i stopped there, and it was stocked to the gills with books, but mostly airport novels. i set out from there, hoping to find cafe too, the place my rough guide said had by far the best selection. after three hours meticulously combing the tourist part of town, i gave up and headed back to the first place to settle. this time, checking above the shopfront. sure enough...cafe too. i should have seen it coming. i found a copy of absalom, absalom by faulkner, and because of stupid rules, i had to trade two great books for it. i just hope the travelers who get my books appreciate my sacrifice.

last night, the streets were packed with people...i'm wondering if guilin might have been similar had it not been raining. dragons were running around, beating at doors of shops, hostels and restaurants, demanding sacrifice. the shopkeepers would hang a offering out the second-story window, with a red envelope surreptitiously attached. a human pyramid is built, and the dragon climbs up and eats the offering. everyone claps, and the store gets a bit of publicity. what a wonderful tradition.

so i'll be chilling here and in guilin for the rest of my trip, so unless something wicked cool happens, i'll update next from chengdu.

pictures

2007-02-18T01:17:00.000+08:00

when i get back on the 24th, i plan to update all my previous posts with pictures, so be sure to check back.

i believe the word i'm looking for is...

2007-02-18T00:39:00.000+08:00

cacophony.

all day i've been walking through the mountains or hills or pillars of karst in guilin, astounded by the beauty of these crazy rock formations. every so often, with increasing frequency, my wonder would be interrupted by what sounded like machine-gunfire.

today, just now in fact, the chinese calendar has turned to the year of the pig. pretty fitting for a mcswiney. that has meant an abundance of firecrackers going off during the day, culminating in a huge fireworks display at midnight.

as opposed to the us, where each city has one concentrated show, chinese citizens take matters into their own hands. throughout the day, i would see boys lighting single firecrackers and throwing them into the streets. people would light strings of firecrackers from balconies, and fireworks were for sale everywhere.

at about 11:45 tonight, things reached a crescendo. as i sat inside my hostel avoiding the rain with my fellow travelers/english teachers, thousand of firecrackers seemed to all go off at once. we couldn't hear ourselves talk over the din. i went outside, and there were fireworks all around me. i found a place near some shorter buildings, plugged my ears, and watch the show erupt around me.

after a few minutes of spectating, the neighborhood i am staying at got into the mix, and fireworks began to go off directly over my head. i love how china has no worries about health and safety. luckily, it was rainy, so nothing was gonna catch on fire.

i took as many pictures as i could, but i soon realized that if i was going to try wait until the fireworks were over, i wouldn't get any sleep. so i came here and blogged instead.

happy new year!
xin nian kuai le!

stupid fly by your seat travelling

2007-02-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

so i've kinda painted myself into a corner over here. my plan was this--take a bus to chongqing, take a boat to wuhan, take a hard sleeper to guilin, take another hard sleeper to kunming, and then a bus back to chengdu. nevermind it's chinese new year, the equivalent of thanksgiving and christmas combined in terms of chinese traveling. needless to say, i was unable to get a hard sleeper. i instead got a hard seat...and not even that. each ticket can either have seat number on it, or not. my did not since i bought it the day of. i did a lot of standing during my second-hand-smoke-filled 14 hours.

this put me at guilin at 5:30 this morning. as i waited for my hostel to open at seven, i planned my next move. opening up my tour book, i quickly learned that not only is kunming 22 hours away by train, but i had isolated myself from chengdu by about 40 hours of trains.

now, i'm gonna refer you to the quote in the upper-right hand corner of this blog--and boy am i having an adventure.

i'm gonna see what happens, but i think i may fall back onto a plane ticket...hopefully they're pretty cheap.

but i'm valuing the experience, and i'm sure my outlook will brighten with a bit more sleep and a great chinese new year celebration. it better.

wuhan

2007-02-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

just arrived in wuhan. the gorges were nice, the small gorges were cool, but the smaller gorges were the best. each set we took a smaller boat into the water. finally we were in a traditional boat, albeit powered by a motor, being sung to by our two chinese guides.

on the boat i formed a laowai posse of 2 canadians, 2 germans, a brit, swiss, and dutch. it was nice to be the only american. after the boat trip we disembarked and took a bus to see three gorges dam. it was big. we stopped what seemed like 8 different places. we thought we might dig under so we could see the dam from the bottom.

then the germans and i took a bus to wuhan, me sleeping all the way. after rain, a few cabs, and one illiterate cab driver, we made it to the hostel and safety.

so that's where i'm at. check ya later.

yangzi madness

2007-02-14T09:25:00.000+08:00

yo--i'm just chillin' out, maxin, relaxin outside of the yangzi, and my boat leaves in about 15 minutes. this is just a quick note to let everyone see how determined i am about this blog. i'm sitting in an internet cafe next to a 12 year old world of warcraft player. he seems to be kicking butt. this trip is doing the same to me. i am quickly realizing that i took chengdu for granted as a big city. i'm getting a lot more "laowai" (old foreigner) and a lot less english. a fair trade if you ask me.

i'm taking some great pictures, but no way to upload them yet...just you wait.

ahhhh...jet lag

2007-02-11T09:16:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning at an early 6:00, and brought myself to roll, stretch, and crush pillows until 7:30. at that point i woke up and went in search of my favorite chinese breakfast--bao zi. where i live is definitely a college town (or high school town, for that matter), and most of the businesses are closed leaving only a single food vendor on my usual street. he was serving a fried doughnut type pastry, but it wasn't quite what i was looking for.

a few blocks to the north of my school, the high-tech industry flourishes. (hence the quaint town name "High Tech Zone (West)") while schools go on vacation for chinese new year, the armies of workers that power the high-tech industry decidedly do not. so as an army travels on its stomach, i went north and found a good sized group of vendors selling breakfast. bao-zi, however, they were not. deep sigh there, folks.

i was quickly over my disappointment, and grabbed a few delicacies: ma er bi--red bean paste (i think) inside a soft dough, and another stuffed breakfast where a round flat bun is sliced open with a boxcutter (at least the woman did here) and stuffed with a mixture of beef, cilantro, chives, as well as some pickled carrot. i also picked up some warm soy milk (duojia) to wash it down.

now it was not exactly what i was looking for, but it hit the spot.

and looking at the nest of plastic bags my food sits in, it is clear that the chinese do not grasp how dangerous a throwaway economy is for our planet. do you?

the quick changes of china

2007-02-10T15:26:00.000+08:00

i thought this first blog back would be about the striking similarities and differences between china and the us. that was before i got back and realized how quickly china moves.

it's like when you haven't seen your niece in two weeks, and suddenly she's taller than you, and dunking in your face. (sheila and i always play basketball when i visit.)

first off, there is new major construction on renmin nan lu (south peoples' road). this is not too surprising, as there is construction happening everywhere at all times.

near my school where there was once a giant parking lot about the size of 4 football fields side to side is now a dirt pile laden construction site. between my school and the parking lot, there is a river.

that river is awful. full of trash, the water trickles past, giving the chemicals from all the useless packaging plenty of time to seep into the near stagnant flow. the grayish brown "water" releases such a stench that i used to hold my breath as i walked by. for the past few weeks before i left, the municipal government had been taking care of this environmental problem the chinese way--by building over it. i left as they had finished laying the bricks for a building directly over the river. when i returned, there was a store in it, chock full of goods, and of course, with the requisite pedicab drivers lounging about outside.

the most pleasant change greeted me this morning as i left to stake out some breakfast...the trees outside my building were blooming with gorgeous pink blossoms. i'm gonna say it again...thank god for global warming. the bees did their business as i stood in the sun and watched, slowly filling with peace. it's weird, but it's good to be back home in china.

my apologies

2007-02-10T03:08:00.000+08:00

so there was an earthquake in taiwan which disrupted china's international internet feed. then i got really sick. then i went home. these things combine to cover my lack of motivation to keep the blog going for the past month. to my faithful readers, i apologize.

but things are different now. i am reenergized, i have a bunch of chinese new year resolutions, and i am chompin' at the bit. get ready for a little of old school philosophizing from trees.

just not now. it's 3 o'clock in the morning and i've been traveling for about 22 hours.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas...everywhere you go

2006-12-26T11:32:00.000+08:00

well i went into chengdu this weekend for a bit of last minute christmas shopping, and was greeted by an army of chinese santa clauses. again, this christmas staple is not there to spread the christmas spirit, although that is seriously wanting over here, but to sell products.

near the center of downtown is chunxi lu, the biggest open-air mall in chengdu. walking there from tianfu square you pass by the "street of cell phones," a thruway usually occupied by a thousand people handing out fliers for deals on cell phones and plans. this weekend it was filled with a thousand santas handing out fliers for cell phones and plans.

there's something unsettling about pushing through a crowd of santas--like a holiday version of that scene from being john malkovich. none of them are jolly, or for that matter fat. they scream at you to buy or chase you down and give you candy or maybe a flier. you just can't get away from it.

i'm looking forward to easter, when i'll be confronted with an army of 6 foot bunnies.

close shave

2006-12-22T16:53:00.000+08:00

ever since college i have wanted to get a hot shave with a straight razor at a barber shop. today, was my chance. my plan was to get a quick trim of my month and a half beard, and be out in a flash. i told the woman "beard, short." she pointed to the straight razor, and i said bu yao, and figured myself in the clear. then she took out her pair of clippers, sans guard, and took the whole eighth of a year growth off my face.

for the most part, i am happy to part with my beard. but usually i make the decision to rid myself of it. i was pretty upset. but i figured, "now i can get that hot shave i've always wanted!" you always have to look on the bright side.

unfortunately, the side wasn't very bright. they poured hot water in a bowl over a towel, and covered my face with shaving soap. then i got the hot towel treatment, delightful. after the towel, i was treated to another application of shaving soap, and the barber got down to business.

she started with my mustache first, scraping it off bit by bit. by the time she was done with the 'stache, my face was cold, due to the open air nature of all chinese shops. she continued to scrape all the hair off my face. she even took my beloved sideburns, for i didn't know what to say to save them.

when she was finally done, she wiped my face off, and i paid and ran as fast as i could. i walked away, feeling my tender face. there were still patches of hair places, and when i got home, i found my neck was bleeding.

so my first straight razor shave was a disappointment. i hope the next is a bit happier. maybe she wasn't ready for my big, tough, american bristle. whatever the problem, i have not given up on my hot shave. i just need to find the right place.

english corridor

2006-12-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

i try not to say no to anything, unless it's illegal, immoral, or hurtful toward others. this explains why patrick and i were at an "english corridor" last night. at cheers patrick had met poly, a business-english dual major at the university near my school. after a few dinners, he invited us to one of his clubs meetings to speak about christmas.

last night, patrick and i met at cheers an hour before the meeting to have dinner, and wet our whistles, to make the english a little smoother. after a delightful dinner of not one but two dishes of pork and mushrooms, we set off for the university. on the way, i decided to pick up 10 oranges. i'm on the verge of getting sick, and i've been eating about 5 a day. i figured by buying 10, i wouldn't have to by more for at least another day.

we met poly in front of the library, and he gave me santa hat. since i am now sporting my semi-annual beard, the obvious santa claus references were made, and we walked towards the dorm where the meeting was being held. when we entered, things became surreal. the club, or audience, was made up of about 100 girls and maybe 30 guys. all of them swarmed us when we entered, beatle mania style. i was surrounded. girls had their cellphones up and were taking videos, another was taking pictures with a camera.

soon one of the organizers came over and asked me to make a speech about christmas, or sing a song. i was a bit overwhelmed, so i thought i might sing jingle bells, get some crowd participation, and move on from there. they got into jingle bells (albeit i only heard my voice on the verse) and by the time we were done, they had given me a bit more space.

at that point it devolved into a question and answer period, which was something i could handle. what do you do for christmas? what music do you listen to? what movies do you like? etc. etc. one girl's question was, "do you have any gifts that you will give us?" i couldn't imagine the sort of miser who would hoard oranges, so i offered my flimsy plastic bag up to the mob. i began to hand them out when the girls began to grab at them. eventually the bag was literally in shreds and the oranges were gone. it was like they had been autographed by jay chou or something.

for the most part, everyone was very nice. there were a few faux pas, like when one girl told me my chinese accent was "awful", and the other girl who suggested that I "work out more." aside from that, it was nice to have people take an interest in me.

now as for the question of going again next week, that's still up in the air. like, way up.

white models

2006-12-20T10:58:00.000+08:00

white people are often used for models in chinese advertising. of course, there is the regular clothes modelling, which is done by young men and women. where the modeling becomes interesting is when we move away from clothing and look at other sorts of advertising.

one of my favorites is on the site of a new apartment complex that is going up. victor city, or vc. successful living for successful people. one picture shows a handsome chinese man drinking scotch, the other an attractive white woman wearing pearls and long gloves. successful living indeed.

the only roles for white men outside of modeling clothes, are those that call for a "distinguished gentleman." a new hotel that is being built has a billboard with an old white guy reading the newspaper in a beautiful room that has been illustrated around him.

for white women, any bath fixture being advertised uses a naked white woman. she might be in a bathtub, holding a shower head, or behind opaque glass. main thing is, she has to be naked. it's interesting where the white faces are used. very interesting.

christmas in chengdu

2006-12-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

there are christmas decorations everywhere, but unless everyone is saying merry christmas to each other in chinese, i'm not feeling the christmas spirit. it's like the chinese skipped the step in american culture where christmas meant something, and instead went straight to the pure commercialization. this can easily be seen by noticing where these decorations are. i've only seen them inside classrooms and inside stores and restaurants.

it's interesting to me that in spite of the many decorations i feel nothing of christmas. perhaps it is the lack of music. i'll be honest--i like christmas music. holly and the ivy, o holy night, the bell carol, good king wencelas. without them, i feel like i'm in another country.

that isn't to say christmas music isn't played. while i ate lunch in a downtown chengdu restaurant, jingle bell rock was on repeat. it played about five times during the meal. every time there was a slight pause between the last and the next i hoped. my hope never came through. i couldn't stop thinking of macaulay (i had to look up how to spell that name) culkin fooling those crazy crooks by setting up a fake christmas party. what a caper!

but i am in posession of some pine incense my folks sent me and the internet to scare up some good christmas music. i may not be able to have a white christmas, but i can have an enjoyable one.

i'm a liar

2006-12-06T18:59:00.000+08:00

i am infamous for lying about food. (well, perhaps not infamous, but a little exaggerated self-deprecatism never hurt anyone.) this includes, "i'm done," "i can't eat anymore," "last one," "this isn't that spicy," "no i in't urn y ongue." the latest was posted monday night on this very blog, promising an expose on the market, and the food therein.

instead, i was kidnapped and made to watch senior i english plays.

and when i say kidnapped, i mean i walked in to watch a few plays, and was forced to judge all thirteen, which put me back home way past my bedtime (9 pm).

the program was as follows:

american dreamz
harry potter
beauty and beast
the fire of hope
princess diary
the little prince
peter pan
swan lake
tulips
the emperor's new clothes
new journey to the west
pride and prejudice
it's a wonderful life

as you might gather from the titles, the judges were not scoring for creativity. most plays were taken directly from scripts found on the internet, and then edited down to be less than eight minutes. (i was told, as a judge, to subtract points if a play went over 8 minutes. when i asked how i should know that the play was too long, i was told to guess.)

but the show was impressive. the seniors (sophomores) had been practicing for the last month, and they had clearly spent a long time on costumes and makeup. for the little prince, one of my students dressed up as a fox--complete with head and all. many of the plays featured dancing, singing, and at least three of them had a violin (one play had two).

before each play, there were four students who would stand up and introduce each play. clearing chosen for their english prowess, the joked their way through 2 and half hours. i realize now my experience was much like the oscars. my favorite part was when of my students quoted brokeback mountain ("love is a force of nature") to introduce a play. in all my classes, the movie is notorious as a joke, and i am still wondering if she was joking or not.

after all the plays were over, i was pushed out on stage to "comment" about them. in actuality, i was burning time as they calculated the winners. i'm pretty sure i was picked because i'm the only one who could extemporize in english. for my first time on live tv (it was filmed and broadcast to the rest of the school), i don't think i did half bad. i did use the word excited four times in about a minute speech, but otherwise i thought it was okay.

the plays that got first (there were no losers, only third place) were harry potter and the emperor's new clothes. i think harry potter won because it was harry potter, but the emperor's new clothes was a good play. it was clean, well blocked, and there was some good slapstick in there, too. i mean, sure they had a great foreign english teacher, but i'm positive they won are their own accord.

the fair

2006-12-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

at the university village there is a fair. now in fact, it's just a bunch of street food carts grouped in one location, but there still is a festive atmosphere that pervades. there, of course, are the guo kui people, who also sell french fries. the fries are made by taking a metal basket, and weaving julienned potatoes inside of it, so it makes a basket inside the basket. that is then deep fried. the basket is then dumped out, sprinkled with chopped onions, parsely, dried pepper flakes, and of course, msg. haven't yet tried it, but i plan to. i'm making my way slowly around the fair, trying to sample all the types of food. to be honest, this marketplace is one of the most diverse places to get food here in chengdu. and it's in my backyard. hooray!

as the week goes on, i'll be posting on a different food from each of the carts. tomorrow, cabbage tacos!

traffic and banks

2006-12-03T14:19:00.000+08:00

friday was the day i decided to finally open a bank account. i researched how to say, "i want to open a bank account," and set off for the nearest branch to the school on my bike. leaving on a friday can be frustrating. cars are parked everywhere, mostly by parents picking up their children at one of the the three schools in the same vicinity. i estimate that means 6 or 7 thousand students leaving at once.

there are cars, pedicabs, and taxis parked everywhere, including the middle of the street. figuring i'd be okay on two wheels, i headed towards the gridlock of cars. soon i was in traffic. not car traffic, but bike traffic. i was behind a scooter as we followed a line of two-wheeled vehicles through a narrow channel of cars. a pedicab passed me on my left and then cut me off, so i angrily rang my bell at him. i was contemplating the bird, but that's bad karma, and i'm not sure he would have known what that meant.

soon though, i was out, and cruising toward the bank of my choice, "the chinese construction bank." they have a bunch of atms, and they're affiliated with my bank at home. i locked my bike out front, and realized that the lobby had about 20 people waiting for 3 tellers. i cursed myself for not bringing my book. i approached a complicated touch-screen machine to get a number for the tellers. as i was about to press the button for a non-vip number, a security guard stopped me. he already had a stack of numbers printed from the machine in his hand, and he gave me one. chinese culture will never cease to make me wonder. i took my number and got ready for my wait.

watching the led panels above the teller windows, i was excited to see that i only had 13 more people to go, and it seemed not everyone was showing up. after waiting maybe two minutes, i was approached by a bank employee. she said something in chinese, and i told her the sentence i had been practicing in my head for the entire afternoon. "wo yao li yin hang zhang hu." she quickly brushed this off and repeated herself. so much for my practicing. i gave her my passport, and she asked me to sit down in a different chair.

oh, my bearded white face. always getting me special treatment. i don't like having an unfair advantage, but when something like this is forced on me, i'm not going to argue. i'm thinking it's retribution for getting hello yelled at me all the time.

the woman had me fill out an account opening form, and when the next teller was available, she ushered me to a seat in front of the window. i answered their questions, and tried to help them out when they had trouble figuring out my last name from my passport. (james bickley mc swiney gives them many choices.) the whole time, this other bank employee was standing over me, doing nothing. whenever they needed something from me, the teller would ask me, then the woman on my side of the glass would ask me. i would start to put whatever they needed into the space under the window, and before i could, the woman on my side would take it from me, and do it herself. talk about service.

after many stamps--a red stamp makes anything official--and a new impersonal atm card, i was good to go. i thanked them, and left. now i don't have a ton of yuan underneath my mattress anymore. sweet.

well, well, well

2006-12-02T08:01:00.000+08:00

ahhhh...the whims of the chinese government. for a time now, it is impossible to say how long, blogger has been accessible to me. last night, i finally realized it. it's nice to have complete control over my posts again. i will savor this open time, as long as it lasts. thanks again, china.

the great wall

2006-11-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

so tonight, i decided to enter into the world of chinese red wine. the first vehicle was a bottle of great wall wine. made from the grapes near the great wall near yantai. it is produced by the world renowned winery of china national cereals, oils, and foodstuffs import and export corporation. it just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? what kind of grapes? i have no idea. just grapes.

when i bought the bottle, i asked if i could get a corkscrew as well. to be honest, i just pointed to the top of the bottle and said "i open?" they nodded and grabbed what looked like a well used corkscrew from underneath the cashier's counter. as one clerk rang my purchase up, another took a knife to the bottle and started to tear the foil off. i tried to stop her, but she kept going. after the foil was off and i had paid for my goods, i grabbed the foiless wine and the much worn corkscrew and put it in my bag. the clerk shook her head no, and took both of them back from me. it turned out that i had not bought the corkscrew--it was used by the clerks to open the wine before you left the store. unfortunately, she didn't know how to use it. she was able to screw it in, but seemed to be it at a loss for what to do after. i told her i knew, took the bottle, and popped the cork out, by this time in front of about five chinese women. a student remarked, "wonderful," and i went on my way.

once i got home, i poured a glass into a plastic cup, and gave the wine some time to let it air. the bouquet smelled okay, better than i thought it would. but when i tasted it, boy oh boy. it turns out chinese beer is better than chinese wine. it's a shame really. now i have to finish a bottle of wine i don't like.

kuai zi

2006-11-28T00:15:00.000+08:00

kuai zi is chinese for chopsticks. i've gotten quite used to them by now. and i've realized that eating with these two wooden sticks has its advantages. because there is the ability to squeeze with chopsticks, the tactile information available is greater. i can tell if there are bones, huajiao shells, or even stiff rice. chopsticks are used by just one hand. no need to lay a book down on the table to read during lunch, i can hold it and eat at the same time.

now it has taken me some time to get used to eating rice with chopsticks but it is doable. first off, in china, all rice is very sticky, so for the most part picking up big chunks of rice with the 'sticks is not an issue. but even at the end, when the rice becomes less cohesive, it is possible to get those lone grains of rice by holding the chopsticks parallel about a centimeter apart and scooping.

now last night i used a fork, as i usually do when i'm eating western. didn't even cross my mind that i wasn't using chopsticks. i guess old habits die hard.

a philosophy salon sans philosophy salon

2006-11-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

well this evening i rode into chengdu on my fancy new bike. i had a few things i was going to pick up at the computer towers, and then make my way over to a philosophy discussion group where we talk about gilles delueze. if you don't know who he is, join the club. turns out he was a contemporary french philosopher best known for his thoughts on immanence and his critiques of kant, spinoza, and nietchze. sounds to me like he should be more famous!

i was psyched all day, reading about deleuze and his philosophy, and to meet some new people. i always say the best way to meet people you'll like is by doing something you like. so i rode down to the computer towers and got there about five minutes after six. now this was my first time parking my bike. you pay a guy two kuai, and he watches over your bike, and a hundred other bikes and scooters. so i pay the guy two kuai, and he says something to me, as always, quickly in chinese. i say good, good, and walk towards the store. the first two doors i try are locked, so i have to walk around to the main entrance in the front. while i'm walking, i notice that i'm a salmon swimming upstream in a rushing river of chinese. i figure this does not bode well for me, but i have to try. sure enough, there are security guys at the door making sure the crowd only goes one way. darn it.

so i walk back to the bike man, he smiles, and gives me my two kuai back. man, i wish i knew chinese.

this meant i was gonna be about forty-five minutes early for the salon, so i went down to stake out the restaurant, so i wouldn't have any problems. ha. i rode around in circles for a half hour. i even came down off my high horse and asked people where it was. no one knew. so finally around 7:05 i gave up, and sat down to have some western food, and a cold sam adams. this was my first american beer in china, and it was sure good. a nice full bodied beer. chinese beer is much more like miller light. (oliver, our school's liaison loves budweiser.) i relaxed and had my meal slowly. i am reading 36 children by herbert kohl (thanks to j and piper), and i read quietly, munching on chicken fingers.

after my delicious meal, i began to ride out of town. the bike is a thousand times better than the bus. my perspective on the bus is so restricted. i can only see to the left and to the right, and about sixty degrees vertically. i really enjoyed seeing the city approach as i rode in when it was light. in the dark, the overpass i have to go under is lit up with what seems to be a thousand feet of blue neon lights.
it lights up the sky to a deep dark blue. light pollution can be gorgeous. every time i've ridden the bus under it, i've wanted to tell the bus driver to stop so i could get out and take a picture. when i was riding my bike, i didn't have to ask anybody.

also, you can race people. i'm a very competitive person, even when the person i'm competing against has no idea. when i passed him the last time, i told him he was very fast. i'm not sure if he appreciated it.

after the overpass, i was in the country, so i put on my tunes, and my open-ear headphones (safety is a must, children) and cruised to the music. the dichotomy of rock and roll with my surroundings makes me feel like it's the soundtrack to my travelogue. pounding on my handlebars, singing along to the presidents of the united states of america, i drew a few stares. i smiled back, and sometimes i get a smile in return. i rolled in to my apartment to company in my back by wilco. it was awesome.

all in all, it was a great night. too bad i didn't get anything done.

i like to ride my bicycle, i like to ride my bike

2006-11-27T00:48:00.000+08:00

at 9:30 this morning, i was crammed in with a 100 or so chinese people on a double decker bus. towards the back of the first level, the floor is raised to make room for the engine. when i boarded the bus, the woman in charge of tickets kept screaming, "go to the back! move to the back!" at each progressive stop, i moved closer and closer to the back of the bus, and eventually, there i was standing with my neck at a delightful 80 degree angle, feeling like a giant. i took this as a sign that the universe approved of my course.

i got off on renmin zhong lu (the people's center road) and began to browse. one of the great things about chengdu, is that the stores are all placed together. if you want a sign made, you go to a certain street, and there are about 20 sign shops all in a row, doing the exact same thing. if you want commercial cooking appliances, head north, and you'll find a whole line of them on the third ring road. here, at renmin zhong lu, they sold bikes and scooters.

ever since i lost my bike (i think using the word stolen might be going a bit too far...i left it unlocked in front of a restaurant. oops.) i've been thinking of getting a new one. to be honest while i had my old bike i was thinking of getting a new one. we were provided with shiny new one speeders. beach cruisers, basically. i needed more power. arargharghargharrr. (i've decided all posts from now on will have some type of home improvement reference.) just cruising is not my style. i need to be passing people. moving quickly. on the old bike i topped out at like 5 miles an hour, and that was with me standing on the pedals. so my subconscious made me let my bike get stolen, so i could get a new one.

and a new one i did get. a nice orange one, 18 gears, rack above the back tire, bell and lock included. not too bad for 600 kuai (75 bucks). i took her out on the street and began to put her through the paces. chengdu is a great bicycle town. there are no hills, just flat roads. i started moving out towards the suburbs in high gear. i was surprised as i began to pass electric scooters. i was the fastest thing by far in the bike lane inside the city. it was great, weaving in and out of bikes, pedicabs, scooters, and the occasional (and illegal) car, passing them all. once i passed the third ring road, which is where the city stops and the sprawl begins, motorscooters began to appear, and i couldn't keep up. to be honest, i could no longer keep up with the electric scooters, either. i need to learn how to pace myself. i finally arrived home out of breath and happy.

i feel like this is going to add a new dimension to my understanding of chinese. my experience thus far has been a bit two dimensional. i've been sticking to the bus routes and the places i have been shown by others. now i feel like i have the ability to explore. and explore i will.

i am a musical robot

2006-11-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

so my lesson plan this week is about robots. (which is boring, i guess, because one of my best students told me after class today she wanted to do something interesting.) i asked them if they had a robot, what would they want it to do. the answers were very telling.

first we had the violent robots. these robots were to kill people my students didn't like, burn down the school, rob banks. one student wanted their robot to kill gwb, then make the student delicious food. an interesting diaspora there.

the next are the lonelibots. these are designed to be friends, keep secrets (that's a must), and play tennis, soccer, and computer games with the students. i tried to make the point that when they played computer games against enemies not controlled by humans, they already were playing with a robot, but for some reason that didn't fly with my eighth graders. one better student wanted to liberate her robot from mundane tasks, and for it to have emotions. "it would be just like a human, but its brain would be simpler."

studybots were the most prevalent. all the students wanted a robot that would do their homework, take their tests, etc. the most creative answer thus far is a shape shifting robot that could take tests for a student as well as taking the place of the parents when there were parent/teacher conferences.

finally, there were parental units. many of my kids wanted robots who would teach them about the world, go to work and give them pocket money, do the housework, and one girl went so far to want it to keep her on task. she mentioned that her parents were always at work, and she often watched television or played computer games when she should have been doing her homework. she thought a robot could solve her problem. another said she wanted a robot to do house work because her grandmother spent too much time cleaning and the student wanted her to have time to "play with other old people."

and finally, a few girls wanted a robot to play piano with them. god love those people and their musical robots.

(if you don't know what i'm talking about, rent spellbound. it's great.)

things i see regularly

2006-11-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

rides outside stores for little children that play jingle bells.
bicycle tires burning on the sidewalk.
men with quarter-inch long fingernails. (it's a status symbol, showing that you don't work with your hands)
street sweepers playing happy birthday.
children relieving themselves on the street, sidewalk, supermarket or bus floor.
ducks' and chickens' heads, pig snouts, occasionally whole butchered yaks.
crowds of people standing around watching others scream at each other over a fenderbender.
live turtles and frogs at the supermarket.
police officers (or at least people in the drivers seat of police cars) reclined and passed out.

things i don't see regularly:
the sky
a good grilled cheese
uniformed police officers

2006-11-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

here is a map of chengdu foreign languages school. the yellow thumbtack marks my building, on which i live on the second floor of sixteen. the five buildings above (northeast) my apartment are the "primary school" attached to the chengdu foreign languages school. what a mouthful. to the left of the primary school there are eight identical buildings. these are dorms that hold the 6,000 students in six grades, 7th to 12th. that means there are about 750 teenagers in each dorm. incredible. below the dorms is the giant square building with a courtyard that holds all the classrooms, as well as a tv and radio studio, computer labs, an infirmary, and a/v labs. on one side of the classroom buildings is the gym complex (that's that big oval building), and on the other side is the cafeteria and the library (no books to speak of).

so there's the tour. if you want to check out my neighborhood here are the coordinates. get google earth and check it out.

30°44'3.27"N
103°58'47.63"E

2006-11-15T19:18:00.000+08:00

i am currently reading a memoir by john pomfret, one of the the first american exchange students to study in china after it was opened in 1979. he tells the story of five chinese students and the hardships they faced.

in a chapter called outside the gates, he talks about the sexual repression present in many of the chinese men and women in the early 80's. both men and women had to wear shapeless mao coats, and pre-marital relations, kissing included, might land you in jail. relationships between chinese people and foreigners were forbidden, and at nanda university, parties thrown by the foreign students are banned.

in a quarter century, much has changed. women still dress conservatively--there is no midriff showing here--but it is clear they are women. short skirts, leggings, and knee-high boots seem to be the fashion these days. as i walk through the local university campus students can be seen kissing cheeks with hands on the smalls of backs. it is clear that dating is acceptable, at least at the university level.

at the high school level, it seems as if the thought has yet to enter my students' minds. virtually none my students socialize in coed groups, unless it is during a game of basketball. throughout the halls, you see boys hanging out with boys, girls with girls. in the sophomore classrooms they seem more comfortable with each other than they do in the 8th grade classrooms, but loud, class-wide, spastic laughter greets any joke about a relationship. now granted, the seniors are in another building, and may act differently, but in my experience there seems no place for the romantic relationship in high school. perhaps they are too busy studying. perhaps america's children just move to fast. either way, it's nice not to have to see necking teenagers everywhere you look.

waking up in the middle of the night

2006-11-14T11:02:00.000+08:00

there are no time zones in china, despite the fact it is the fourth largest country in the world. that fact means when it is 7am in beijing, it is 7am here, despite the fact we are about 1200 miles apart as the crow flies. that coupled with the lack of daylight savings time makes me think my 7am is alot like an american's 4am. when i wake up it is completely dark out. as i walk over to breakfast the sky has lightened a smidgen, but it is still too much like night. by the time i have eaten, gotten prepared for class, and answered a few emails, it is light, but still no sign of the sun, or silhouette of the sun, as i am used to. call me spoiled, but i like waking up with the sun. there is something, dare i say, natural about it.

2006-11-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

last saturday night iwent out for my first karoke experience in china. it brought back many memories, and here are a few highlights.

my first karoke experience was a table set up in my high school's dining hall. as we ate a special dinner that consisted of a bunch of fried food (i can't remember what the occasion was) my dorm mates and i went up and sang bohemian rhapsody. (i'm not sure if my college friends realize how far back the group singing of bohemian rhapsody goes back for me.)

my next experiences were in taiwan. there were quite a few, but i think unchained melody on the bus after watching a bootlegged copy of star wars episode one before it was released in the states. the video feature two asian people doing pottery together. how sweet.

the other very memorable time was when we visited a cultural village at sun moon lake. it was like a taiwanese version of williamstown. after our tour and after we had all donned vintage taiwanese garb, we were treated to a dance performance. after they cleared the stage, they gave us the opportunity to sing karoke. justin man, ms. fontaine, and i, in our traditional taiwanese clothes, sang a delightful rendition of knock three times.

this ktv, as they call it here, was not as family friendly. the bar was smoky, and they projected the picture and words onto a blank wall, and people sat in their seats and sang. that way there wasn't as much pressure. i convinced a chinese guy i met there to sing unchained melody with me. it was great. brought back some really nice memories...

2006-11-10T23:49:00.001+08:00

the chinese spit very unusually. they spend a lot of time phlegm clearing and gathering. they seem to relish making the loudest noise possible, like glass-pack mufflers that one might drive around dc in the 60s. they make a lot of noise, but when it comes to the actually spitting, they lean over and let it dribble out of their mouth.

now i, brought up on the chairlifts of king ridge mountain, do not spit that way. ithis is where this blog might get a bit graphic...feel free to skip the next part.

like a good glass-pack clearing myself, but i need to rocket the loogie away from me. i rest the loogie on my tongue, and while it's sitting there, i purse my lips to create a wind tunnel. i raise the loog up into the path of the airway, and foom! it's off like one of those cylindrical containers you put mail in at an old timey office and lost.

there's no force to chinese spitting, no strength. i am planning to stage the first spitting revolution of 2006. i better get busy. 2006 is running out.

notice how i no longer mince my words. thank you chinese censorship!

2006-11-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

so midterms are coming up, and my students are freaking out. now, i'm always one to procrastinate to the last minute, even the last second, but i'm afraid i'm getting teacher-y in my old age.

tonight my 8th graders have an oral exam. they are given a topic, and they are meant to speak 10 sentences on that topic. i have wondered today if i could do the same thing in chinese. the answer is certainly not. well, maybe if it was about food.

the frustrating thing to me is, they have this native speaker in their midst for about 2 and half months, and they do nothing. but come the night of the exam, they want help on speaking. i stopped my lesson plan and tried to switch to something that might be beneficial for an oral exam, but i quickly realized there was nothing i could do with thirty kids that could be helpful. so i continued on.

one of the activities in this week's lesson plan is an icebreaker type thing centered around sleep. you have to find someone who...overslept this morning, had a nightmare recently, sleepwalks, etc. one of the things i stressed was that you must speak english. the questions were basically laid out for them, all they had to do was knock it out of the park. frustratingly, the only class that complained about the exam was the only class who had trouble speaking english. now that i type it there seems like there might be a correlation there.

so after the activity, i slowly lectured about how this is how you get better at speaking. if you want to do well on your oral exam, don't come to me the night of, just try to speak in class. that's it. i think i got a little fired up about halfway through and might of lost them, but hopefully the first part registered.

i guess i'll see when i get the grades. yeah, right, like they'll let me see grades.

2006-11-08T20:07:00.000+08:00

today i had my weekly "official" chinese lesson. i call it official, because i try to study every day, and when everyone speaks the language, isn't your life a learning experience?

we were going over the days of the week. a fairly simple thing in chinese--monday translates literally to week 1, tuesday, week 2, etc. the only one that doesn't follow that pattern is sunday. sunday is written as xing qi ri, or week sun. isn't that interesting.

in my classes today, i tried a new lesson plan about fables. at the beginning of the class, we go over the definition of morals and fables, and i tell them (i think) a particularly rousing version of the tortoise and the hare. after that, i have them write fables of their own in groups. in each class, on average 2 out of 8 groups wrote the story of the boy who cried wolf. it was very interesting to me, especially after one student described it as an "ancient chinese story."

now i'm not sure when xing qi ri or the boy who cried wolf was adopted, or how it came to be that both things are intergral parts of western and eastern culture. i just think it's amazing that two cultures that are so different have some very similar historical artifacts.

tar but no feathers

2006-11-07T19:10:00.000+08:00

sorry for the short break...censorship's got me down.

today, the improvements around my apartment continue. first they were ripping out all the grass, and now they are sealing all the cracks in the sidewalk.

this is an arduous process to say the least, especially for just one man. he started coming last week, with simply a hammer and a chisel that resembled a railroad spike. at each crack, he took the chisel to it without mercy, perhaps to make the surface even, and give space for the tar to stick. on monday, he began to fill in the cracks. he had two chunks of solid tar just sitting on the sidewalk, looking like a 3 pack a day elephant's lungs. he built a wood fire, again on the sidewalk, and stacked some bricks around it. he took one of the lungs of tar and put it in a metal bucket and set it on the bricks over the fire.

soon it was a boiling pitch black substance. he transferred it to another bucket, this one with a spout, and began to pour it liberally into the cracks he had made. while he did this, people walked around him and on the already filled cracks, paying him no mind. at the end of the day, he strapped the buckets and solidified tar to the back of his bike, and rode into the sunset...a tarman's job is never done.

Completely Blocked

2006-11-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

now the chinese government has blocked access to blogger.com, effectively disabling me from posting completely. sweet. luckily, i have a proxy (read my ma) who is happy to post for me. now karl is an ist guy, so he may be able to help me work around it, but i guess for now, i'm going underground. darn it!

A Philosopher in a Tree

one night in bangkok (parental guidance suggested) [this is like ira glass saying it on this american life. it's not that dirty, but be warned.]

cambodian smackdown

oh the malaysians

vietnam list continued.

time flies when you are having fun...

vietnam: the happiest place on earth?

travel options

8 grand traditions of chinese cuisine: guangdong (cantonese)

8 grand traditions of chinese cuisine: fujian

real winter

all sorts of precipitation

anhui food and the other 7 chinese grand cuisines

beijing rain

skiing

guess who's back

a big let down

guess who's back

rush hour

chinese new year's eve

quirkiest part of the bj subway

new year's at the people's congress

pricing craziness

back in the china

quiet cab, huh...

what the f.

snazzy tracksuit

volleyball

dryclean only

dance off?

wow...hiatus. and soda.

spoiled

爽 （shuang)

my birthday

introverts, anyone?

big puddle (大水坑）

garlic

yinchuan with a side of office sleeping

what?!?!?

use your imagination...

address

blue skies and baijiu

summer palace

back again

counterfeit?

overcoming bureaucracy

syrup? not maple syrup, just syrup.

buddhism

a fantastic ride

xi'an and surroundings

le shan revisited

flip-flop fascism

painful news

a nice house

a delightful cab ride

Jon Grassbaugh: A Good Man Who Will Be Missed

Chuan Ju

Complaints Abound

pandamonium

sunday funday

qing cheng shan (green castle mountain)

explanation

a nice lunch

the rocking of class 9B

quote

the revolt of class 9B

chengdu rediscovered

final tally

yangshuo

pictures

i believe the word i'm looking for is...

stupid fly by your seat travelling

wuhan

yangzi madness

ahhhh...jet lag

the quick changes of china

my apologies

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas...everywhere you go

close shave

english corridor

爽（shuang)